分手在即，
誰知下次見面，
會是何時何處，
因此就算百般糾結，就算百般想把這一切抱入雙手
我也明白，是不可能。
於是每一次的見面都當最後一次
於是，和人相處得當下，我都提醒自己，放點心神
一個人，能給別人最好的禮物，其實是美好的回憶
當你/我，在想起彼此時，會微笑，其實就夠了
我們都有自己人生的路要走。
翻開人生的另一頁
讀別人的故事
寫我的故事
然後，
讓你讀我
我的旅行
是我人生的一部分
我只能用雙腳輕自走過，我只能用平安回來
才能讓你了解我說的夢想不是天馬行空
才能讓你了解我相信世界還有信任
Time to say goodbye,
Who knows when and where will be the next time we meet?
Though my mind was interwoven with feelings,
Though I wanted to hold everything into my arms,
I knew it is impossible.
I could only tell myself
to see everytime we meet as the last time we meet,
I can only remind myself
to pay attention when I am with people.
The best gift a person can give is, actually, beautiful memories.
When you/I, think about us, we will smile.
Than that's enough.
We have our own lifies to work on.
Time to turn a new page of life.
To read others' stories,
and to write my story.
Then,
let you read me again.
This travel is part of my life.
I will walk and come back safe personally.
So that you can see my dream is not something impossible.
So that you can see the world in my eyes is still filled with trust.
2014年9月2日 星期二
永遠是白天It never gets dark
五月，春回大地。自從五月一號，下了一場雪後，就正式和白色的季節說再見了。大地換衣服的速度比我想像中的還快，不同顏色的花，早的，晚的，就像五線譜上的豆芽一樣，井然有序的到來，然後想要早睡早起也越來越困難，因為天在遠方的某一角，總明亮。我的脈動，雖沒有跟著太陽而行，所謂的日出而作，日落而息，但，我感覺到，不是只有大地從漫長的冬天裡醒過來，瑞典人也是。
學校裡，要寫一個case study， 一篇恐龍報告，還有每周出野外，最後一次考試。生活第一次這麼緊湊。
但是回顧這一個月，我想到的卻是不斷失去平衡，錯過了meeting的時間，傻傻得把鳥音混在一起，讓老師有些不能接受，還有第一次感覺到對朋友的信任被咬掉。會難過，可這世界仍有養分可以讓你我再反回健康。有的時候那是朋友的幫助，有的時候是自己對人的信念。
我錯過了討論的時間，而理由到真也不被其他人覺得重要，但因為這樣，接下來反投入更多的心力寫Case study。
我其實還再尋找平衡，Circledusale 的團長說，平衡不是不動，平衡對他們來說是一直動。我想在這轉動之間，能完成各面相的事。
報告和考試，不是糊里糊塗的做，也不是一直塞，我想想作者的論點和我的論點，應該是可以邊讀邊寫的，最後在花時間整理，因為大至上的架構是有的。而考試，我更需要多面相的經驗，去認識一隻鳥，一隻青蛙的歌，或者是一條魚的樣貌，但現在看，我只能去博物館和用電腦，和最後一次出野外了。
然後，莫忘了，以誠待人。
May! Spring came back. After the last snow on the first of May, we said good bye to the white world. The speed for the land to change cloth was much faster than I imagined. Different colors of flowers popped up. Some came earlier, some came later, but all were coming in an order, just like the beam sprouts on the staff. And it got harder to both get up and go to bed early. Because somewhere far away in the sky, was always bright. Though my pulsation didn't work the same way as the sun did, following the Chinese idiom, waking up when sun rises, and taking a rest when sun sets, but I could feel as the nature waked up from the long winter, so did the Swedish people.
At school, I needed to write a case study, an assignment about dinosaurs, and having excursions on every weekend, and a final exams. Life had never been so busy for the first time in Sweden.
However, looking back on this month, I can only think about me, keeping losing balance. I missed the meeting time. I mixed up all the bird songs, which was the thing my teacher could not accept. And the first time I felt the trust I have for a friend was been bitten away. It was reasonable to feel sad. But in this amazing world, there is enough nutritious for you and me to bounce back. Sometimes it is help from friends, and sometimes it is the belief of trust we have for human.
I missed the meeting time, and the reason didn't make sense to other people. Because of this mistake, however, I spent more time and effort doing the following works, trying to make up my mistake as well.
I was still looking for balance. The ringmaster in Circledusale once said, "For us, balance is about keep moving without falling. It is not about standing still." I thought I could deal with these different things while keep turning around.
For assignments and exams, I didn't want to do it with empty head, neither do I want to keep stuffing knowledge inside my brain. I want to think about the points of the author and the points of mine. I should be able to write and read at the same time. And spend some time to organize it at the final part, since I knew the construction to a degree.
About the tests, I needed to have more experiences. To get acquaintance with a bird, a song of a frog, or the face of a fish. But it seemed like I could only go to the museums, and have my last excursion.
And, remember, sincere and trust are the elements to get together with people.
學校裡，要寫一個case study， 一篇恐龍報告，還有每周出野外，最後一次考試。生活第一次這麼緊湊。
但是回顧這一個月，我想到的卻是不斷失去平衡，錯過了meeting的時間，傻傻得把鳥音混在一起，讓老師有些不能接受，還有第一次感覺到對朋友的信任被咬掉。會難過，可這世界仍有養分可以讓你我再反回健康。有的時候那是朋友的幫助，有的時候是自己對人的信念。
我錯過了討論的時間，而理由到真也不被其他人覺得重要，但因為這樣，接下來反投入更多的心力寫Case study。
我其實還再尋找平衡，Circledusale 的團長說，平衡不是不動，平衡對他們來說是一直動。我想在這轉動之間，能完成各面相的事。
報告和考試，不是糊里糊塗的做，也不是一直塞，我想想作者的論點和我的論點，應該是可以邊讀邊寫的，最後在花時間整理，因為大至上的架構是有的。而考試，我更需要多面相的經驗，去認識一隻鳥，一隻青蛙的歌，或者是一條魚的樣貌，但現在看，我只能去博物館和用電腦，和最後一次出野外了。
然後，莫忘了，以誠待人。
May! Spring came back. After the last snow on the first of May, we said good bye to the white world. The speed for the land to change cloth was much faster than I imagined. Different colors of flowers popped up. Some came earlier, some came later, but all were coming in an order, just like the beam sprouts on the staff. And it got harder to both get up and go to bed early. Because somewhere far away in the sky, was always bright. Though my pulsation didn't work the same way as the sun did, following the Chinese idiom, waking up when sun rises, and taking a rest when sun sets, but I could feel as the nature waked up from the long winter, so did the Swedish people.
At school, I needed to write a case study, an assignment about dinosaurs, and having excursions on every weekend, and a final exams. Life had never been so busy for the first time in Sweden.
However, looking back on this month, I can only think about me, keeping losing balance. I missed the meeting time. I mixed up all the bird songs, which was the thing my teacher could not accept. And the first time I felt the trust I have for a friend was been bitten away. It was reasonable to feel sad. But in this amazing world, there is enough nutritious for you and me to bounce back. Sometimes it is help from friends, and sometimes it is the belief of trust we have for human.
I missed the meeting time, and the reason didn't make sense to other people. Because of this mistake, however, I spent more time and effort doing the following works, trying to make up my mistake as well.
I was still looking for balance. The ringmaster in Circledusale once said, "For us, balance is about keep moving without falling. It is not about standing still." I thought I could deal with these different things while keep turning around.
For assignments and exams, I didn't want to do it with empty head, neither do I want to keep stuffing knowledge inside my brain. I want to think about the points of the author and the points of mine. I should be able to write and read at the same time. And spend some time to organize it at the final part, since I knew the construction to a degree.
About the tests, I needed to have more experiences. To get acquaintance with a bird, a song of a frog, or the face of a fish. But it seemed like I could only go to the museums, and have my last excursion.
And, remember, sincere and trust are the elements to get together with people.
2014年8月24日 星期日
Living by learning
Bare with me. I don't have Chinese to type.
Few days ago, when I was cooking something on the camp fire, a friend of mine asked me what do I think about the course Climate Change Leadership.
I said this course helps me to learn more about myself and the constantly changing world. At frist, I can not come up with some straight forward answers, which are the things I have been thinking about for a long time. I felt rich inside my heart, but I can not say it precisely.
At the same day, I handed in my last assignment of this course. This is actually a revision. I have two assignments needed to be revisied. It took me some time to be positive to face it and rewrite my assignments. The main problem in my assignment is that I did not respond to the questions asked in the introduction, which I later found out I would feel disappointed if I can pass this course with assignments like these. I appreciate that my course cooridnators gave me a second chance.
After I finished all my works, I did ask myself what I have learned from this course. Then, a intuistic idea came to my mind. That is, living by learning. What does climate change bring to us? What does human reactions, all those climate change conferances, and the justice, the humanity within the idea,,, teach us?
The free atmosphere creates by corridnators and my classmates make me feel this class is different. Different to a point I can find myself's existence in the world. So that I had more time to reflect on my own life and other people's world.
"Leadership", a concept I didn't understand before. Now, I have a different feeling for it. It doesn't mean to be a leader. It doesn't mean one needs to have certain degree. Not to say it needs someone to do super important thing. Instead, it means to excercise one's influence on others, even just influencing a person around you. For things we want to change, and for things we see can be done better in this world. Leadership is not only about facing other. It is also about improving oneself. Try hard to understand oneself, create one's leadership style and reflect on one's connection to this world.
The world is changing. The perdiction or the solution we make may not always be what we understand. Uncertainty may be seen as a chance rather than a difficulty.
Few days ago, when I was cooking something on the camp fire, a friend of mine asked me what do I think about the course Climate Change Leadership.
I said this course helps me to learn more about myself and the constantly changing world. At frist, I can not come up with some straight forward answers, which are the things I have been thinking about for a long time. I felt rich inside my heart, but I can not say it precisely.
At the same day, I handed in my last assignment of this course. This is actually a revision. I have two assignments needed to be revisied. It took me some time to be positive to face it and rewrite my assignments. The main problem in my assignment is that I did not respond to the questions asked in the introduction, which I later found out I would feel disappointed if I can pass this course with assignments like these. I appreciate that my course cooridnators gave me a second chance.
After I finished all my works, I did ask myself what I have learned from this course. Then, a intuistic idea came to my mind. That is, living by learning. What does climate change bring to us? What does human reactions, all those climate change conferances, and the justice, the humanity within the idea,,, teach us?
The free atmosphere creates by corridnators and my classmates make me feel this class is different. Different to a point I can find myself's existence in the world. So that I had more time to reflect on my own life and other people's world.
"Leadership", a concept I didn't understand before. Now, I have a different feeling for it. It doesn't mean to be a leader. It doesn't mean one needs to have certain degree. Not to say it needs someone to do super important thing. Instead, it means to excercise one's influence on others, even just influencing a person around you. For things we want to change, and for things we see can be done better in this world. Leadership is not only about facing other. It is also about improving oneself. Try hard to understand oneself, create one's leadership style and reflect on one's connection to this world.
The world is changing. The perdiction or the solution we make may not always be what we understand. Uncertainty may be seen as a chance rather than a difficulty.
2014年8月23日 星期六
我覺得我是活著的I feel alive :)
回到台灣了，縱使旅行的記憶盤據我腦，要回想整個在烏普薩拉待的每一章節，卻還是那麼清明。
還記得，(這是一具老套的開頭，但是就讓我這樣平鋪直敘的說這些事吧)我第一天上恐龍的課，我有好多聽不懂，因為英文，因為速度，因為環境。
第一天上瑞典的動物課，也是，毫無頭緒，老師在講青蛙的身體構造，我還不知道英文名對應地是什麼器官?
第一天上climate change leadership，我簡直連這堂課在討論什麼，我都不知道，我帶著一大串的問號離開。
但是我的適應力沒有被冰雪掩埋，在climate change leadership的課程裡，我開始發現閱讀的重要，因為這樣才能和同學討論。當老師在介紹與氣候變遷相關的會議，和組織，我也不會心裡一直冒問號。也是因為和同學有更多的討論，我開始接受不是每一個"困難"，都必須立即有一個明確的"方案"，這也改變我對自己生活的看法，重點是要不斷追尋。
是這堂課，讓我第一次感覺教育和社會如此緊密，也是這堂課，讓我可以將自己和未來的世界做連結，從課本裡的文字，到鑽進社會裡，或許整個過程就是一種活著的感覺，這些事情，氣候變遷，和你如此相關，怎麼能不在乎?不是為了什麼環保，什麼綠城市，而是為了我們。
瑞典的動物課，是一門我想起來會微笑的課。我的報告也是要重新訂正，考試也有兩部分沒有通過，需要補考。然而，讓我重新再溫習，竟更讓我明白我為什麼要修這麼課，我帶走的是什麼樣的知識和態度，擁有什麼樣的經驗。離開時，我送了老師們溪頭的青蛙明信片和台大謝師周的卡片，他們很開心，這或許也是有交換學生的好處，有很多分享。
整體來說，我覺得瑞典的課，強調學生的自發性，在乎多少，自己就會想去做多少，是"自己想"，無關乎其他。要重考，重寫報告，這不是個"難過的結果"，而是一個再做一次的機會。好像煮菜，燒焦了，沒關係，找出問題，再試一次。
在台灣對老師，總是會有禮貌，說謝謝也習以為常，但我常感覺瑞典的老師不習慣這樣，他們內心會過意不去，他們的態度比較像"我在這裡就是要幫助你學習的，這是我該做的事。"
說硬體設備，他們的教學樓，和系館，都是很舒適的，一定會有一間以上的廚房，和餐廳。有一堂課我是在一棟較新的大樓上課，裡面的投影幕還是觸控式的，但並非每一位講著都習慣那個螢幕，我想是因為那樣的概念還太新。系館都會有大走廊，和很多小教室，走廊上和小教室擺了很多小桌子，學生可以在那裡念書和討論。
或許是因為瑞典土地大，而人少，空間相對較多，才可以規劃出這麼多區域。
整個城市裡，我很喜歡cemus的圖書館，我假日都可以整天待在那，因為那裡像客廳般親切，大大的沙發，搖椅，咖啡和廚房，外面也有院子，不會讓人覺得窒息，還有，只要有學校的卡，其實可以一天24小時都待在那。圖書館可以講話，可以吃東西，有的時候更像討論室。但當然還是有一個區域是必須保持安靜的。
朋友也為我的交換生活上了豐富的顏色。第一次和同學說服貿的事情時，比我大一兩歲的德國朋友，很冷靜得和我說"政府都這樣阿"，雖然我顯得如此不成熟，他們願意帶我用他們的角度看事情，聽我的想法。
朋友也改變我對服裝的看法，"我太害羞了，這件好像不太好。"剛開始撿二手衣時還這麼對V說，後來自己反而接受度更大，而且會開始想，我想要穿出什麼樣的風格?
能和一群朋友分享彼此的生命，閱讀彼此，是我心中最感激的事， 他們教我做菜，帶我曬太陽，誘導我跟隨音樂跳舞，即使我是個大肢障，重點不是什麼樣的舞步，而是自己想跳什麼?至少在一場演唱會裡可以這樣。
我無法想像會有如此深刻活著的日子。喔，然後我也因為他們，發現擁抱的必要，我真的好喜歡，不管男生還是女生。
瑞典如同台灣，不是一個完美的國家，也許我的文字太容易將這裡形塑成烏托邦，老實說，我也帶著這樣的念頭很久。
但這確實是第一個讓我眼睛閃閃發亮這麼久的地方。
感謝幫我的家人，朋友和學校，謝謝你們，如果我忍不住對你們又親又抱，我應該只是太想念你們。
那11點多還天亮，3點多天又亮的日子，和那每晚粉紅色的天空，是否畫下來了?
那樣活著的強度是否以種在我的腦袋裡?
對我來說這是一場發現自己，打開心門的旅程。
I'm in Taiwan. Even though my travel memory filled my brain, it is clear to think back on all the chapters I had in Uppsala.
I still remember the first day I had my dinosaurs course. (This is an old-fashioned opening, but please allowed me to say in plain sentences.) I could understand almost nothing. I did try to listen. But because of speaking in English, because of the speed, and because of the environment, I really can not get anything clear.
The first day I had faunistics, vertebrates course, I also had no idea either. The teacher was introducing the organs of a frog, and I didn't know which part he exactly mentioned, corresponding to each English name.
The first time I took Climate change leadership course, I could understand nothing, not to mention what was being discussed. I left the classroom with loads of questions.
But my adaptation ability did not be frozened by the cold snow. In Ccl course, I realized the importance of reading, becauase I want to discuss with friends. When the speaker was introducing meetings, and organizations, relating to climate change, I would not have question marks kept budding out of my heart. And because of having discussions with friends, I understood not every problem or difficulty need to have a solution right away. This idea also changes my view of life. The important thing is to keep searching.
Because of this course, I first felt that education is so close to society. Also because of this course, I can make connections between myself and future. From the words in the assigned readings, to diving into the real world, the whole process gave me a feeling of being alive. Under the sky, there are so many things, which relate to you so much. Climate change. How can you don't care about it? It is not for environment, not for green cities, but for us.
Faunistics, vertebrates course in Sweden, is the one that will make me smile when I recall it. I also got assignment needed to be revised, and two parts of the exams needed to be remake. But having a review on it sort of helping me understand why I want to take this course. What kind of knowledge and attitude I learned. And what kind of experiences I had. When I left, I sent the frog post card from Sitou and the Teacher's day card in Taiwan to the teachers. They were so happy. That may be the good thing to have exchange students. We can share cool thing together.
In general, I feel it needs a lot of self discipline to take Swedish course. How much you do all depends on how much you care. It's about your will, and nothing else. To have remake exam or an assignment needed to be revised, is not a sad "result". Rather, it is more like giving you a second chance. It is like cooking. The first time, if it burns, don't worry. Find out the solution and try it again.
I used to be really polite to teachers in Taiwan. Saying thank you is common too. But I feel Swedish teachers are not used to that. They would not feel comfortable in their hearts. I think their attitude is more like "I am here to help you learn. It is the thing I should do."
Talking about their hardware, the teaching building and each department are comfortable, with at least one kitchen, one library, and one restaurant. One course of mine was in a new building. The big screen there is touchable. Even though I don't think every speaker was used to that. Maybe it is because the idea is still bit too new. There are a lot of space in the hallway and lots of small rooms, with a lot of tables and chairs being placed. Students can discuss and read books in these places.
Maybe it is because Sweden has a lot of space, and not so much people. They are able to design these areas into specific usages.
(Sweden has nearly 450 thousand square kilometer land area, with 9 million people.
Taiwan has 35 thousand square kilometer land area and with 23 million people.)
In this city, I like the library in Cemus pretty much. It is as comfortable as a living room. I can stay there the whole day on weekend. With big sofas, rocking chairs, coffee, a kitchen and yards, I never feel stifled. If you want, you can stay there for 24 hours, as long as you have a university card, which you should have no problem to have one. It is allowed to talk and to eat in the library. So it is actually more like a discussion room. But of course, there is still one area that you should be quiet.
Friends in Uppsala made my time there extremely colorful. The first time I told my German friend about the Trade Agrement in Taiwan, who was one or two years older than me, responded me in a quite calm attitude "Governments all do things like that." Even though I was quite immature, they were willing to share their views and listen to my feelings. Friends I made there also changed my taste in clothing. "I am too shy.." the first time I picked up a cloth in a swamp, I told V. But later on, I became more open. I thus started to think what kind of personality I want to convey through clothing.
I am thankful that we can share life together and read each other. They taught me how to cook, brought me out to enjoy the sun and led me to dance with music, even though I was like having legs and hip made out of steel. The point is not what steps we danced, but what movements our body want to do. At least during a concert.
I can not imagine to live a life so vivid like this. Oh, and also because of them, I found the must to have hugs. I enjoyed it, both boys and girls:)
Sweden, like Taiwan is not a perfect country. Maybe through my description, it is easy for you to make hypothesis like this. In fact, I hold this idea for quite a long time, too.
But this is the first place to keep my eyes sparkling for such a long time.
Thank you to my family, friends and the university. If I can not resist to kiss or hug you, it is just because I miss you too much..
The sky is still bright at 11pm.
The sky lights up at 3 am. And the pinkish sky every evening...
Did I paint them all?
To live with this strength,
Have I planted it inside my heart?
It is a trip to discover myself and free my soul.
還記得，(這是一具老套的開頭，但是就讓我這樣平鋪直敘的說這些事吧)我第一天上恐龍的課，我有好多聽不懂，因為英文，因為速度，因為環境。
第一天上瑞典的動物課，也是，毫無頭緒，老師在講青蛙的身體構造，我還不知道英文名對應地是什麼器官?
第一天上climate change leadership，我簡直連這堂課在討論什麼，我都不知道，我帶著一大串的問號離開。
但是我的適應力沒有被冰雪掩埋，在climate change leadership的課程裡，我開始發現閱讀的重要，因為這樣才能和同學討論。當老師在介紹與氣候變遷相關的會議，和組織，我也不會心裡一直冒問號。也是因為和同學有更多的討論，我開始接受不是每一個"困難"，都必須立即有一個明確的"方案"，這也改變我對自己生活的看法，重點是要不斷追尋。
是這堂課，讓我第一次感覺教育和社會如此緊密，也是這堂課，讓我可以將自己和未來的世界做連結，從課本裡的文字，到鑽進社會裡，或許整個過程就是一種活著的感覺，這些事情，氣候變遷，和你如此相關，怎麼能不在乎?不是為了什麼環保，什麼綠城市，而是為了我們。
瑞典的動物課，是一門我想起來會微笑的課。我的報告也是要重新訂正，考試也有兩部分沒有通過，需要補考。然而，讓我重新再溫習，竟更讓我明白我為什麼要修這麼課，我帶走的是什麼樣的知識和態度，擁有什麼樣的經驗。離開時，我送了老師們溪頭的青蛙明信片和台大謝師周的卡片，他們很開心，這或許也是有交換學生的好處，有很多分享。
整體來說，我覺得瑞典的課，強調學生的自發性，在乎多少，自己就會想去做多少，是"自己想"，無關乎其他。要重考，重寫報告，這不是個"難過的結果"，而是一個再做一次的機會。好像煮菜，燒焦了，沒關係，找出問題，再試一次。
在台灣對老師，總是會有禮貌，說謝謝也習以為常，但我常感覺瑞典的老師不習慣這樣，他們內心會過意不去，他們的態度比較像"我在這裡就是要幫助你學習的，這是我該做的事。"
說硬體設備，他們的教學樓，和系館，都是很舒適的，一定會有一間以上的廚房，和餐廳。有一堂課我是在一棟較新的大樓上課，裡面的投影幕還是觸控式的，但並非每一位講著都習慣那個螢幕，我想是因為那樣的概念還太新。系館都會有大走廊，和很多小教室，走廊上和小教室擺了很多小桌子，學生可以在那裡念書和討論。
或許是因為瑞典土地大，而人少，空間相對較多，才可以規劃出這麼多區域。
整個城市裡，我很喜歡cemus的圖書館，我假日都可以整天待在那，因為那裡像客廳般親切，大大的沙發，搖椅，咖啡和廚房，外面也有院子，不會讓人覺得窒息，還有，只要有學校的卡，其實可以一天24小時都待在那。圖書館可以講話，可以吃東西，有的時候更像討論室。但當然還是有一個區域是必須保持安靜的。
朋友也為我的交換生活上了豐富的顏色。第一次和同學說服貿的事情時，比我大一兩歲的德國朋友，很冷靜得和我說"政府都這樣阿"，雖然我顯得如此不成熟，他們願意帶我用他們的角度看事情，聽我的想法。
朋友也改變我對服裝的看法，"我太害羞了，這件好像不太好。"剛開始撿二手衣時還這麼對V說，後來自己反而接受度更大，而且會開始想，我想要穿出什麼樣的風格?
能和一群朋友分享彼此的生命，閱讀彼此，是我心中最感激的事， 他們教我做菜，帶我曬太陽，誘導我跟隨音樂跳舞，即使我是個大肢障，重點不是什麼樣的舞步，而是自己想跳什麼?至少在一場演唱會裡可以這樣。
我無法想像會有如此深刻活著的日子。喔，然後我也因為他們，發現擁抱的必要，我真的好喜歡，不管男生還是女生。
瑞典如同台灣，不是一個完美的國家，也許我的文字太容易將這裡形塑成烏托邦，老實說，我也帶著這樣的念頭很久。
但這確實是第一個讓我眼睛閃閃發亮這麼久的地方。
感謝幫我的家人，朋友和學校，謝謝你們，如果我忍不住對你們又親又抱，我應該只是太想念你們。
那11點多還天亮，3點多天又亮的日子，和那每晚粉紅色的天空，是否畫下來了?
那樣活著的強度是否以種在我的腦袋裡?
對我來說這是一場發現自己，打開心門的旅程。
I'm in Taiwan. Even though my travel memory filled my brain, it is clear to think back on all the chapters I had in Uppsala.
I still remember the first day I had my dinosaurs course. (This is an old-fashioned opening, but please allowed me to say in plain sentences.) I could understand almost nothing. I did try to listen. But because of speaking in English, because of the speed, and because of the environment, I really can not get anything clear.
The first day I had faunistics, vertebrates course, I also had no idea either. The teacher was introducing the organs of a frog, and I didn't know which part he exactly mentioned, corresponding to each English name.
The first time I took Climate change leadership course, I could understand nothing, not to mention what was being discussed. I left the classroom with loads of questions.
But my adaptation ability did not be frozened by the cold snow. In Ccl course, I realized the importance of reading, becauase I want to discuss with friends. When the speaker was introducing meetings, and organizations, relating to climate change, I would not have question marks kept budding out of my heart. And because of having discussions with friends, I understood not every problem or difficulty need to have a solution right away. This idea also changes my view of life. The important thing is to keep searching.
Because of this course, I first felt that education is so close to society. Also because of this course, I can make connections between myself and future. From the words in the assigned readings, to diving into the real world, the whole process gave me a feeling of being alive. Under the sky, there are so many things, which relate to you so much. Climate change. How can you don't care about it? It is not for environment, not for green cities, but for us.
Faunistics, vertebrates course in Sweden, is the one that will make me smile when I recall it. I also got assignment needed to be revised, and two parts of the exams needed to be remake. But having a review on it sort of helping me understand why I want to take this course. What kind of knowledge and attitude I learned. And what kind of experiences I had. When I left, I sent the frog post card from Sitou and the Teacher's day card in Taiwan to the teachers. They were so happy. That may be the good thing to have exchange students. We can share cool thing together.
In general, I feel it needs a lot of self discipline to take Swedish course. How much you do all depends on how much you care. It's about your will, and nothing else. To have remake exam or an assignment needed to be revised, is not a sad "result". Rather, it is more like giving you a second chance. It is like cooking. The first time, if it burns, don't worry. Find out the solution and try it again.
I used to be really polite to teachers in Taiwan. Saying thank you is common too. But I feel Swedish teachers are not used to that. They would not feel comfortable in their hearts. I think their attitude is more like "I am here to help you learn. It is the thing I should do."
Talking about their hardware, the teaching building and each department are comfortable, with at least one kitchen, one library, and one restaurant. One course of mine was in a new building. The big screen there is touchable. Even though I don't think every speaker was used to that. Maybe it is because the idea is still bit too new. There are a lot of space in the hallway and lots of small rooms, with a lot of tables and chairs being placed. Students can discuss and read books in these places.
Maybe it is because Sweden has a lot of space, and not so much people. They are able to design these areas into specific usages.
(Sweden has nearly 450 thousand square kilometer land area, with 9 million people.
Taiwan has 35 thousand square kilometer land area and with 23 million people.)
In this city, I like the library in Cemus pretty much. It is as comfortable as a living room. I can stay there the whole day on weekend. With big sofas, rocking chairs, coffee, a kitchen and yards, I never feel stifled. If you want, you can stay there for 24 hours, as long as you have a university card, which you should have no problem to have one. It is allowed to talk and to eat in the library. So it is actually more like a discussion room. But of course, there is still one area that you should be quiet.
Friends in Uppsala made my time there extremely colorful. The first time I told my German friend about the Trade Agrement in Taiwan, who was one or two years older than me, responded me in a quite calm attitude "Governments all do things like that." Even though I was quite immature, they were willing to share their views and listen to my feelings. Friends I made there also changed my taste in clothing. "I am too shy.." the first time I picked up a cloth in a swamp, I told V. But later on, I became more open. I thus started to think what kind of personality I want to convey through clothing.
I am thankful that we can share life together and read each other. They taught me how to cook, brought me out to enjoy the sun and led me to dance with music, even though I was like having legs and hip made out of steel. The point is not what steps we danced, but what movements our body want to do. At least during a concert.
I can not imagine to live a life so vivid like this. Oh, and also because of them, I found the must to have hugs. I enjoyed it, both boys and girls:)
Sweden, like Taiwan is not a perfect country. Maybe through my description, it is easy for you to make hypothesis like this. In fact, I hold this idea for quite a long time, too.
But this is the first place to keep my eyes sparkling for such a long time.
Thank you to my family, friends and the university. If I can not resist to kiss or hug you, it is just because I miss you too much..
The sky is still bright at 11pm.
The sky lights up at 3 am. And the pinkish sky every evening...
Did I paint them all?
To live with this strength,
Have I planted it inside my heart?
It is a trip to discover myself and free my soul.
2014年6月10日 星期二
學習不因考試完而結束Learing won't stop because the exam ended.
我今天考完最後一堂試，是關於瑞典的脊椎動物。有好多鳥，好多魚，還有好多聲音，和一些兩爬。
但是大自然這本書永遠都讀不完。大海裡的魚，天空，樹林與原野上的鳥，我怎能全知了?
這門課在學期成果的欄位上表達的是: 能了解瑞典的脊椎動物，並應用在保育上。然對我來說，這其實更像是開啟我認識大自然的另一扇門; 學習結果，是會觀察周遭環境的鳥聲/身。
很多時候進入森林，或只是走在路上，會對身邊的聲音不敏感，但是修完這堂課，我開始會去聽，"那是什麼聲音?"，"誰在窗戶外嘰嘰喳喳?"生活充滿了樂趣。
就像是森林系的樹木學，幫我開啟另一世界。
我很謝謝這堂課的老師，十多次的出野外，他都把自己做到最好，也用正向的態度回應我這個動物門外漢。
我記得我第一次考試，在野外考，我迷路了，所以遲到。有點緊張，除了因為遲到，也是因為老師說我要帶他走鳥類的生態旅遊，告訴他什麼鳥在說話，什麼鳥飛過去。我不是一個好導遊，在我又緊張考試又快結束時，老師對我說了句話。這句話讓我了解，我可以做得更好。
那天考完，騎車回家，路上忍不住停下來想，我為了什麼修這堂課?
沒有人可以看完世界上所有的書，就像沒有人可以看片全世界的風情。可是我們可以永遠都帶著一顆好奇的心去看世界，我想這堂課教我的就是這個，抬頭看看誰在唱歌。
而我也因這堂課，去了附近美麗的森林，海邊玩，甚至還找到了下午茶的好去處!那變成是一個想要走進自然的渴望，而不是只有考試。
這堂課結束了，我的學習不因此結束，他在教我如何去聽，發現，而我的生命還在走，我希望地球也是，這樣，我的學習就永遠不會結束。
I finished my last exam today. It is about faunistics vertebrates in Sweden. There are a lot of birds, a lot of fishes, a lot of sounds, and some herptiles.
But this book, nature, can never be finished. How can I ever know all the fishes in the sea, and the birds in sky, forest and field?
The learning outcome in the course information said: To recognize vertebrates in Sweden, and to apply the knowledge in the field of conservation. Yet, for me, this course is more like opening a door leading me to nature; learning outcome is to be able to observe bird sounds and existence in the surrounding.
I was not sensitive to sounds around me when I walked into forest, or on the street. But after taking this course, I started to "listen". "What's that sound?", "Who is chattering outside the window?" Life becomes so much fun.
It was like course in dandrology of forestry department, helping me open up another world's door.
I thanked the teachers in this course a lot. Over ten times of excursions, he did his best, and he always responded me, the very beginner, positively.
I remember my first test. It was in the field, and I got lost. So I was late to the test. Because of being late, and the request from the teacher was I have to be a ecotourist guide, telling him which bird was singing, and which bird flew by, I was nervous. I was not a good guide. When I was nervous, and the test was going to end, the teacher said something to me. This let me understand that I can do it better.
After the exam that day, I biked home. On the way, I couldn't bike but stop to think a question: Why did I take this course?
No one can read all the books in the world, like no one can see all the view in the world. But we can bring a curious mind to look at this world all the time! I think this is something this course taught me about. Look who is singing up of the head?
I went to some beautiful forest and beach areas because of this course. I even found a good place to have coffee. (fika, in Swedish) It turned out to be an eager to go in to nature, which was not something you do because of the test.
This course has finished. But my learning process never stops. It taught me how to listen, how to observe. My life is still going on. I hope earth is too:) By these facts, my learning never stop!
但是大自然這本書永遠都讀不完。大海裡的魚，天空，樹林與原野上的鳥，我怎能全知了?
這門課在學期成果的欄位上表達的是: 能了解瑞典的脊椎動物，並應用在保育上。然對我來說，這其實更像是開啟我認識大自然的另一扇門; 學習結果，是會觀察周遭環境的鳥聲/身。
很多時候進入森林，或只是走在路上，會對身邊的聲音不敏感，但是修完這堂課，我開始會去聽，"那是什麼聲音?"，"誰在窗戶外嘰嘰喳喳?"生活充滿了樂趣。
就像是森林系的樹木學，幫我開啟另一世界。
我很謝謝這堂課的老師，十多次的出野外，他都把自己做到最好，也用正向的態度回應我這個動物門外漢。
我記得我第一次考試，在野外考，我迷路了，所以遲到。有點緊張，除了因為遲到，也是因為老師說我要帶他走鳥類的生態旅遊，告訴他什麼鳥在說話，什麼鳥飛過去。我不是一個好導遊，在我又緊張考試又快結束時，老師對我說了句話。這句話讓我了解，我可以做得更好。
那天考完，騎車回家，路上忍不住停下來想，我為了什麼修這堂課?
沒有人可以看完世界上所有的書，就像沒有人可以看片全世界的風情。可是我們可以永遠都帶著一顆好奇的心去看世界，我想這堂課教我的就是這個，抬頭看看誰在唱歌。
而我也因這堂課，去了附近美麗的森林，海邊玩，甚至還找到了下午茶的好去處!那變成是一個想要走進自然的渴望，而不是只有考試。
這堂課結束了，我的學習不因此結束，他在教我如何去聽，發現，而我的生命還在走，我希望地球也是，這樣，我的學習就永遠不會結束。
I finished my last exam today. It is about faunistics vertebrates in Sweden. There are a lot of birds, a lot of fishes, a lot of sounds, and some herptiles.
But this book, nature, can never be finished. How can I ever know all the fishes in the sea, and the birds in sky, forest and field?
The learning outcome in the course information said: To recognize vertebrates in Sweden, and to apply the knowledge in the field of conservation. Yet, for me, this course is more like opening a door leading me to nature; learning outcome is to be able to observe bird sounds and existence in the surrounding.
I was not sensitive to sounds around me when I walked into forest, or on the street. But after taking this course, I started to "listen". "What's that sound?", "Who is chattering outside the window?" Life becomes so much fun.
It was like course in dandrology of forestry department, helping me open up another world's door.
I thanked the teachers in this course a lot. Over ten times of excursions, he did his best, and he always responded me, the very beginner, positively.
I remember my first test. It was in the field, and I got lost. So I was late to the test. Because of being late, and the request from the teacher was I have to be a ecotourist guide, telling him which bird was singing, and which bird flew by, I was nervous. I was not a good guide. When I was nervous, and the test was going to end, the teacher said something to me. This let me understand that I can do it better.
After the exam that day, I biked home. On the way, I couldn't bike but stop to think a question: Why did I take this course?
No one can read all the books in the world, like no one can see all the view in the world. But we can bring a curious mind to look at this world all the time! I think this is something this course taught me about. Look who is singing up of the head?
I went to some beautiful forest and beach areas because of this course. I even found a good place to have coffee. (fika, in Swedish) It turned out to be an eager to go in to nature, which was not something you do because of the test.
This course has finished. But my learning process never stops. It taught me how to listen, how to observe. My life is still going on. I hope earth is too:) By these facts, my learning never stop!
2014年6月7日 星期六
我可以為你加油! I can cheer you up!
我向來都習慣依賴人，或者是完全讓人依賴
也向來都將人分成這兩種類型
但其實每個人
都需要你有閃亮眼睛，放出力量的時候
乍回顧這篇一直沒完成的文章(或者只能說是一個段落)，已過了一個月了。當初會有這樣的心得，是因為我的好朋友，老是幫助我，給我動力的，最近突然眼光淡了，我於是看到她會哭，也承受莫名的巨大壓力。
我還以為，她總是精神飽滿，神采飛揚，然後也簡單的認為，在她身上，我可以得到許多能量。
事實上，反過來想，這怎麼有可能?如果我會累，會哭，她的生活，也會有累，也會有不順利的時刻吧!若我們的交集永遠都在我從她身上得到力量的互動裡，這是很奇怪的。
那天看到她困在報告裡，告訴我她沒事，她只是累，累在這報告，和缺少睡眠。又想起，那次吃早餐，人生該去哪，該怎麼生活，她也還在嘗試，而這樣的嘗試，背後其實有壓力。我，才懂，她也有需要被打氣的時後。
我們是可以互相加油的，我也有力量關心別人。
大海中，我們互相加油
I used to depend on others. Or I used to let the others depend on me.
Thus, I used to categroise people in these types.
However, everyone
all has time that needs you to give power from your sprinkling eyes.
I read this article (or I should say the paragraph) again, just by a click to my blog. It has been one month since I wrote it. I had this reflection because my good friend, who always helped me, and gave me motivation, had her spirit in eyes gloomy. So I saw she cry. I saw she bear huge, and ambiguous pressure too.
I see her as always being energetic, and having sunny-smile face, and simply regarded her as the one I can always get energy from.
To be honest, thinking from a different perspective, how can that be true? If I will feel tired and will cry, it should be understandable that she will feel tired and want to cry sometimes in life. If our connections are only built up by me taking energy from her, it would be strange.
I saw her stuck in her paper, telling me she was just tired of this paper, lacking sleep, tired but was fine. And it recalled me, during the breakfast we had last time, she said she was also trying to find out where to go, and how to lead her life. This kind of experiencing has pressure behind. So I understand, she needs to be cheered up from time to time as well.
We can cheer each other. I have the energy to give too!
In the ocean, we help each other.
也向來都將人分成這兩種類型
但其實每個人
都需要你有閃亮眼睛，放出力量的時候
乍回顧這篇一直沒完成的文章(或者只能說是一個段落)，已過了一個月了。當初會有這樣的心得，是因為我的好朋友，老是幫助我，給我動力的，最近突然眼光淡了，我於是看到她會哭，也承受莫名的巨大壓力。
我還以為，她總是精神飽滿，神采飛揚，然後也簡單的認為，在她身上，我可以得到許多能量。
事實上，反過來想，這怎麼有可能?如果我會累，會哭，她的生活，也會有累，也會有不順利的時刻吧!若我們的交集永遠都在我從她身上得到力量的互動裡，這是很奇怪的。
那天看到她困在報告裡，告訴我她沒事，她只是累，累在這報告，和缺少睡眠。又想起，那次吃早餐，人生該去哪，該怎麼生活，她也還在嘗試，而這樣的嘗試，背後其實有壓力。我，才懂，她也有需要被打氣的時後。
我們是可以互相加油的，我也有力量關心別人。
大海中，我們互相加油
I used to depend on others. Or I used to let the others depend on me.
Thus, I used to categroise people in these types.
However, everyone
all has time that needs you to give power from your sprinkling eyes.
I read this article (or I should say the paragraph) again, just by a click to my blog. It has been one month since I wrote it. I had this reflection because my good friend, who always helped me, and gave me motivation, had her spirit in eyes gloomy. So I saw she cry. I saw she bear huge, and ambiguous pressure too.
I see her as always being energetic, and having sunny-smile face, and simply regarded her as the one I can always get energy from.
To be honest, thinking from a different perspective, how can that be true? If I will feel tired and will cry, it should be understandable that she will feel tired and want to cry sometimes in life. If our connections are only built up by me taking energy from her, it would be strange.
I saw her stuck in her paper, telling me she was just tired of this paper, lacking sleep, tired but was fine. And it recalled me, during the breakfast we had last time, she said she was also trying to find out where to go, and how to lead her life. This kind of experiencing has pressure behind. So I understand, she needs to be cheered up from time to time as well.
We can cheer each other. I have the energy to give too!
In the ocean, we help each other.
2014年4月29日 星期二
有毯子的晚上The night with a blanket.
 |
| Vegan Monday |
其實我也不認識你們
笑容卻串聯起一切
菜園旁的簡陋野餐桌
擺滿了豐盛的食物
我帶了1/4個西瓜
我幸福的吃著野菜派，沙拉，和好多巧克粒蛋糕
然後你們輕聲的談話
有時候我聽不懂
但你們的氣息
讓我覺得不是在千里之外
夜幕降臨
我們拉起了毯子
彼此依偎
音樂響起
是葬禮的音樂
但是卻讓人心定
好像死一回，聽這音樂，也不是什麼哭得唏哩嘩啦的事
就好像我會離開你們
離開瑞典
不捨之中
笑容不減
因為我們有溫暖的力量
串連
就像這條毯子
Actually, I don't know you.
But smiles connect everything together.
The crude picnic table sat beside the vegetable garden.
A rich amount of food was laid on it.
I bought one forth of watermelon.
I ate wild-vegetable pie, salad, and a lot of chocolate cake, with happiness.
And you talked gently.
Sometimes I didn't understand.
But your climate
let me feel I was not thousands of miles away from you.
The night had arrived.
We put on blankets.
sat shoulder to shoulder,
and the music spoke.
It was a music for funeral.
But it brought peace into people's heart.
To have this music once a time made death not a crying-loud thing.
Just like I will leave you.
And will leave Sweden.
Smiles live within the unwilling mood.
Because we have the gentle power
connecting each other,
just like the blankets.
2014年4月27日 星期日
我的復活節My Easter holiday
溫暖的力量在陽光裡流動
淚水在眼眶裡打轉
本是農耕堆肥的下午
意外翻出心裡的大哉問
我們怎麼知道要去哪?
席地而坐
三人
斜鍬而立
一人
你那光亮色彩的珠珠
正說明你的性格
自由在裡奔放
這周是農夫
下周是藝術家
再下周呢?
"恩，我還沒想到要體驗什麼?"
"你如何知道
你有多少自由?"
我的淚水也跟著滑落
我在尋找
在嘗試
我能用雙手，用雙腳，用心的自在生活
也許我不能像你們一樣
那麼確切的有自己
但不代表
我永遠不能
多少框架，限制
是自己加上去的
我要聆聽自己的聲音
The gentle strength of sunlight was flowing in the air.
The tears were running in eyes.
It was planned to be a farming afternoon.
But, accidentally, she dug out big questions in my mind.
How do we know where we should go?
Sitting on the ground, three people,
Standing by the shovel, one person
The shinning balls with you
explained your personality finely:
Freedom was running inside.
This week I am a farmer.
Next week I will be an artist.
What about next next week?
"Um, I haven't thought about what I want to explore more?"
"How do you know
how much freedom you have?"
The tears ran down too.
I am seeking.
I am trying.
To live a life with hands, feet, and heart.
Maybe I can't be like you guys
to have ourselves so sure.
But it doesn't state that
I will never be in this way.
So many frames and limitations
are put on us by ourselves.
I want to hear my voice.
淚水在眼眶裡打轉
本是農耕堆肥的下午
意外翻出心裡的大哉問
我們怎麼知道要去哪?
席地而坐
三人
斜鍬而立
一人
你那光亮色彩的珠珠
正說明你的性格
自由在裡奔放
這周是農夫
下周是藝術家
再下周呢?
"恩，我還沒想到要體驗什麼?"
"你如何知道
你有多少自由?"
我的淚水也跟著滑落
我在尋找
在嘗試
我能用雙手，用雙腳，用心的自在生活
也許我不能像你們一樣
那麼確切的有自己
但不代表
我永遠不能
多少框架，限制
是自己加上去的
我要聆聽自己的聲音
The gentle strength of sunlight was flowing in the air.
The tears were running in eyes.
It was planned to be a farming afternoon.
But, accidentally, she dug out big questions in my mind.
How do we know where we should go?
Sitting on the ground, three people,
Standing by the shovel, one person
The shinning balls with you
explained your personality finely:
Freedom was running inside.
This week I am a farmer.
Next week I will be an artist.
What about next next week?
"Um, I haven't thought about what I want to explore more?"
"How do you know
how much freedom you have?"
The tears ran down too.
I am seeking.
I am trying.
To live a life with hands, feet, and heart.
Maybe I can't be like you guys
to have ourselves so sure.
But it doesn't state that
I will never be in this way.
So many frames and limitations
are put on us by ourselves.
I want to hear my voice.
2014年4月20日 星期日
斯德哥爾摩的電影節Film Festival in Stockholm
那是個漫長的一天，我第一次到斯德哥爾摩，卻沒有好好感受瑞典的首都，因為我待在電影院，看了兩部長的記錄片，和一部短的。這次電影節主題是浪費，我和我的朋友前幾天去ICA的垃圾回收處， 撿到許多香蕉和水果，並做成這次電影節的FIKA(點心)，也算是和這次的主題相呼應，主辦單位很歡迎我們這樣做，因為我們真實的呈現給大眾，有多少食物被浪費，這些食物其實都還很完好，也都還可以做成好吃的點心。
這次電影節，我最有感覺得是其中兩部，先說第一部吧!
"Traffic Dance"(垃圾之舞)，主旨是要告訴我們當垃圾清潔人員可以是值得驕傲和有藝術性的工作。影片是從一位編舞者的角度拍攝，她進入社區裡的清潔隊，想要讓清潔人員跳一場關於他們工作的舞。
一開始，清潔隊內上上下下的人都對此嗤之以鼻，長官對這件事的想法是異想天開，基層人原則認為他們怎麼可能會跳舞，更別說主題和他們的工作相關。但編舞者實際參與他們的工作，從清潔一般的家庭垃圾，動物屍體，到節慶後髒亂的街道，她和這群人有了最基本但重要的認識，基層的清潔人員於是願意嘗試她的跳舞構想。
那場表演有清潔人員常用的大卡車，和各式各樣的執行清潔任務的車子，雖然那是個下雨的晚上，但非常多的居民參加。他們看到清潔人員的厲害的方，重新想清潔人員對他們生活的意義，漸漸的，他們對清潔人員的一些看法改變了。後來，清潔人員收垃圾時，他們都會互相打招呼。
在影片最一開始，其中一位基層人員說，我害怕我的孩子對我的工作感到驕傲，只是因為她(還小)覺得我開大車很酷。但我想，他的孩子會逐漸從"很酷"的感覺，也許受社會價值影響演變成"不認同"，但她終會因了解期意義，而感到驕傲。
我喜歡這部紀錄片，因為其呈現一個重要但不被重視的工作，可以透過藝術，被人重新認識和定義，還有，也看到編舞者的行動力，她把所有人認為的不可能，變成可能。
"工作的價值，究竟如何定義?高薪水，少勞力的工作就是比較有價值的工作嗎?"我問自己。為什麼媽媽聽到我想當農夫就不斷的告訴我要回歸現實，又為什麼金錢可以定意這麼多價值?我認為農夫是很重要的工作，他提供了人們最基本的生活需求，而且我還相信，當農夫絕對不是只要付出勞力，如何栽種植物，讓她們對環境友善的同時，也能長的挺拔翠綠; 當農夫也不是不需要生意腦袋，他們要懂得如何行銷這些作物。所有的這些事，背後的最後理念是永續發展。當我想一件事該如何做，我會想先問自己，這會是"永續"的事嗎?
永續發展和食物的關係是我在瑞典體認最深的議題，我看食物的製作過程如何影響氣候變遷，思索著食肉的意義，實際看到一桶一桶的食物被超商倒入垃圾堆，而我和這邊的朋友又如何把這些食物變成一餐請所有願意來的人吃，因為這些刺激，讓我覺得食物和人的關係不只是單純的生理需求，食物的生產影響到環境 ; 想當農夫，還得挑戰社會價值，認為這是不理想的工作; 人們對於食物的價值和丟棄食物時的態度讓我覺得還需要改變。
我還有很多事要學習，很多事要思辨，我的大學教育能帶給我建立這些觀點的基石嗎?這些刺激應該不會只出現在學校裡，很多例子會活生生的出現在生活中。
第二部我想分享的記錄片很沉重，是關於車諾比事件，片名是Metamorphism (變態，((型態改變))老實說接連看了兩場記錄片，一整下午又在斯市賣力騎腳踏車到戲院，我其實覺得內心已經裝不下訊息了，所以有些片段我睡著了。整體的內容是，核能廠發生意外後，很多具輻射的物質被排放到鄰近的河流。但，沒有人告訴當地的居民，他們只知道不能太靠近那條河。輻射的影響，存在於居住在這片土地上的人，並且是世世代代的。影片以黑白的方式呈現，最讓我心理不能負荷的是一開始，一張張居民面孔的特寫，他們看著你，大約有十秒，沒有背景音樂，只有風聲呼呼的響。他什麼都沒說，但他本身，就說盡了所有事，這些瘡疤，存在於人類歷史上，我要學會如何與之共存，為什麼當局者要隱瞞?
影片結束後，一張張的面孔還是出現在我心理，我身後的一位俄羅斯同學，舉手分享她的想法，"我住的地方，離那裡不遠，但我現在才知道這條件事，所以非常謝謝你們有這部紀錄片..."她說。我無法想像那種感覺，我真的無法。她後來在我回過身時對我說，"沒錯，這是其中一個我不想回俄國的原因。"我只覺得更加沉重了，她就是活生生的例子。
我還沒懂得如何和這種瘡疤共存，我只覺得好可怕，但要如何改變，我還沒有頭緒。只是整件事情，突然讓我想到，我還是很幸福的，因為我"可以"回去，就算台灣的政治亂，就算台灣的經濟不好，但我們還有可以居住的環境，這足以讓人懂得珍惜。
我不知道斯德哥爾摩的感覺，因為我只來看電影，但這些電影讓我重新再看看自己，火車票很貴，但是我很高興我有來，這些事值得思考很久。
It was a long day. This was my first time to Stockholm, but I didn't have time to really see the city. Because I stayed in the theater, and watched two long documentaries, and one short documentary. The theme of the movie festival is "Waste." My friends and I went to dumpster diving in ICA. We collected a lot of banana and fruits, and made them into desserts, as fika for the film festival. It matches the theme of the festival as well. The organizer welcomed us to do so, because it really showed how much food had been wasted, how perfect it still was, and how delicious desserts it could still be made out of.
This time, tow documentaries stoke my heart the most.
The first one was Trash Dance. Its main idea was that being a trash cleaner, you can be proud and make the work artistic. The film was shouted through a choreographer's standpoint. She participated the work with local trash cleaners, and thinking about having them to perform a dance about their job.
At the beginning, everyone in the trash cleaning team thought it was ridiculous. The officer thought it as an impossible thing, and the trash cleaner didn't believe they can dance, not to say the dance had to be related to their job. But the choreographer joined their work. From cleaning the normal home-trash, dead animal bodies, to the messy and dirty streets after festival celebration. She had a basic, but important, understanding of those people. Those people would like to try her idea of performing a dance.
The big trunks that the trash cleaners used frequently, and a verity of vechicles related to cleaning showed up at the performance. Thought it was a raining night, a lot of local people came. They saw the amazing things these trash cleaners could do, and thought again the meaning of trash cleaners in their lives. Gradually, their perspectives toward these people had changed. After that, when the trash cleaners collect trash for people, they greet each other.
At the start of the documentary, one of the trash cleaners said he was afraid that his child felt proud of her father's job was only because she was little, and she thought driving a trunk was a cool thing. I think, his child maybe would change her view from just being cool to disapprove, influencing by social standard. But, finally, she would be proud after she understands the meaning of it.
I like this documentary, because it revealed how an important but being neglected job can be rethought and redefined by people through art. And the determination the choreographer
showed. She turned things that were impossible to other into possible.
"How to judge the value of a job? Does a high salary and low labor-work job equal to a much valuable job?" I asked myself. Why my mother kept telling me to be realistic when I said I want to be a farmer? And why money could weight the value? I believe being a farmer is an important job. It provides the basic needs of everybody. And I also believe it doesn't only need labor work to be a farmer. How to cultivate an ecofriendly and greenish vegetable garden at the same time? Being a farmer also doesn't mean you don't have a business brain, because you have to think how to market these crops. All of these things are within the view of sustainable development. When I think how to do a thing, I want to first ask myself is this a sustainable thing to do?
The connection between food and sustainable development is the issue that influences me the most in Sweden. I saw how the processing of food affect climate change, thought of the meaning of being carnivore, and watched how a bunch of food has been wasted, which my friends and I turned it into a meal, and invited people who were willing to eat to come. Because of these simulations, the meaning of food toward people is not just about fufilling physical need. The processing of food influences environment. The idea of being a farmer is being disputed, which the society see it as a not-ideal job. The value people give food and the attitude people have when throwing food away push me to think that these still have to be changed.
There are lots of things I need to learn and to reflect. Can my education in university provide me the fundamental ability to think this? I think these stimulation will not only occur in school. Instead, lots of the examples are happening in reality.
The second documentary I want to share is quite intense. It is about the accident in Chernobyl, and its name is Metamorphism. To be honest, I felt sleepy after watching two documentaries, and tired o from working really hard to bike from station to theater in Stockholm this afternoon. My brain can not load more message, so in some clips of the movie, I fell asleep.
The overall idea of the movie is that after the accident, the radioactive elements were dumped into the river nearby the nuclear power plant. But, no one told the residence there. They only knew they shouldn't get too close to that river. The effect of the radiation exists on the people living on that land, and it will exist through generations. The film was shoted black and white. For me, the most unendurable scenario happened at the very beginning, which the camera had people's face occupied the whole screen. They looked at you, for about ten minutes. There was no background music, only the sound of wind, echoing "Whoo, whoo." He/She didn't say anything, but he/her self, already said everything needed to say. Why the local authority hid the news?
Their faces still came up to my mind after the film ended. A classmate sat behind me raise her hand and shared her thoughts. "I live not far away from this place, but I didn't know this until now. So thank you very much for having this film..." she said. I can't imagine that feeling. Really, I can't. When I turned back, she told me "You see. That's one of the reasons I don't want to go back to Russia." I felt more depressed. She is a really life example.
I haven't established the way to live with these scars. I scare. But how can I change? I haven't come up with an idea. However, the overall incident makes me think that I am still a blessed person. I "can" go back! Though the politics in Taiwan is not stable, and the economy is not that idea, we have a place to live. That is enough for people to cherish.
I don't know the atmosphere in Stockholm, since I just came and watched the films. But, these films pushed me to see myself again. The train tickets were expensive, but I was happy I had came. These things are worthy to think.
這次電影節，我最有感覺得是其中兩部，先說第一部吧!
"Traffic Dance"(垃圾之舞)，主旨是要告訴我們當垃圾清潔人員可以是值得驕傲和有藝術性的工作。影片是從一位編舞者的角度拍攝，她進入社區裡的清潔隊，想要讓清潔人員跳一場關於他們工作的舞。
一開始，清潔隊內上上下下的人都對此嗤之以鼻，長官對這件事的想法是異想天開，基層人原則認為他們怎麼可能會跳舞，更別說主題和他們的工作相關。但編舞者實際參與他們的工作，從清潔一般的家庭垃圾，動物屍體，到節慶後髒亂的街道，她和這群人有了最基本但重要的認識，基層的清潔人員於是願意嘗試她的跳舞構想。
那場表演有清潔人員常用的大卡車，和各式各樣的執行清潔任務的車子，雖然那是個下雨的晚上，但非常多的居民參加。他們看到清潔人員的厲害的方，重新想清潔人員對他們生活的意義，漸漸的，他們對清潔人員的一些看法改變了。後來，清潔人員收垃圾時，他們都會互相打招呼。
在影片最一開始，其中一位基層人員說，我害怕我的孩子對我的工作感到驕傲，只是因為她(還小)覺得我開大車很酷。但我想，他的孩子會逐漸從"很酷"的感覺，也許受社會價值影響演變成"不認同"，但她終會因了解期意義，而感到驕傲。
我喜歡這部紀錄片，因為其呈現一個重要但不被重視的工作，可以透過藝術，被人重新認識和定義，還有，也看到編舞者的行動力，她把所有人認為的不可能，變成可能。
"工作的價值，究竟如何定義?高薪水，少勞力的工作就是比較有價值的工作嗎?"我問自己。為什麼媽媽聽到我想當農夫就不斷的告訴我要回歸現實，又為什麼金錢可以定意這麼多價值?我認為農夫是很重要的工作，他提供了人們最基本的生活需求，而且我還相信，當農夫絕對不是只要付出勞力，如何栽種植物，讓她們對環境友善的同時，也能長的挺拔翠綠; 當農夫也不是不需要生意腦袋，他們要懂得如何行銷這些作物。所有的這些事，背後的最後理念是永續發展。當我想一件事該如何做，我會想先問自己，這會是"永續"的事嗎?
永續發展和食物的關係是我在瑞典體認最深的議題，我看食物的製作過程如何影響氣候變遷，思索著食肉的意義，實際看到一桶一桶的食物被超商倒入垃圾堆，而我和這邊的朋友又如何把這些食物變成一餐請所有願意來的人吃，因為這些刺激，讓我覺得食物和人的關係不只是單純的生理需求，食物的生產影響到環境 ; 想當農夫，還得挑戰社會價值，認為這是不理想的工作; 人們對於食物的價值和丟棄食物時的態度讓我覺得還需要改變。
我還有很多事要學習，很多事要思辨，我的大學教育能帶給我建立這些觀點的基石嗎?這些刺激應該不會只出現在學校裡，很多例子會活生生的出現在生活中。
第二部我想分享的記錄片很沉重，是關於車諾比事件，片名是Metamorphism (變態，((型態改變))老實說接連看了兩場記錄片，一整下午又在斯市賣力騎腳踏車到戲院，我其實覺得內心已經裝不下訊息了，所以有些片段我睡著了。整體的內容是，核能廠發生意外後，很多具輻射的物質被排放到鄰近的河流。但，沒有人告訴當地的居民，他們只知道不能太靠近那條河。輻射的影響，存在於居住在這片土地上的人，並且是世世代代的。影片以黑白的方式呈現，最讓我心理不能負荷的是一開始，一張張居民面孔的特寫，他們看著你，大約有十秒，沒有背景音樂，只有風聲呼呼的響。他什麼都沒說，但他本身，就說盡了所有事，這些瘡疤，存在於人類歷史上，我要學會如何與之共存，為什麼當局者要隱瞞?
影片結束後，一張張的面孔還是出現在我心理，我身後的一位俄羅斯同學，舉手分享她的想法，"我住的地方，離那裡不遠，但我現在才知道這條件事，所以非常謝謝你們有這部紀錄片..."她說。我無法想像那種感覺，我真的無法。她後來在我回過身時對我說，"沒錯，這是其中一個我不想回俄國的原因。"我只覺得更加沉重了，她就是活生生的例子。
我還沒懂得如何和這種瘡疤共存，我只覺得好可怕，但要如何改變，我還沒有頭緒。只是整件事情，突然讓我想到，我還是很幸福的，因為我"可以"回去，就算台灣的政治亂，就算台灣的經濟不好，但我們還有可以居住的環境，這足以讓人懂得珍惜。
我不知道斯德哥爾摩的感覺，因為我只來看電影，但這些電影讓我重新再看看自己，火車票很貴，但是我很高興我有來，這些事值得思考很久。
It was a long day. This was my first time to Stockholm, but I didn't have time to really see the city. Because I stayed in the theater, and watched two long documentaries, and one short documentary. The theme of the movie festival is "Waste." My friends and I went to dumpster diving in ICA. We collected a lot of banana and fruits, and made them into desserts, as fika for the film festival. It matches the theme of the festival as well. The organizer welcomed us to do so, because it really showed how much food had been wasted, how perfect it still was, and how delicious desserts it could still be made out of.
This time, tow documentaries stoke my heart the most.
The first one was Trash Dance. Its main idea was that being a trash cleaner, you can be proud and make the work artistic. The film was shouted through a choreographer's standpoint. She participated the work with local trash cleaners, and thinking about having them to perform a dance about their job.
At the beginning, everyone in the trash cleaning team thought it was ridiculous. The officer thought it as an impossible thing, and the trash cleaner didn't believe they can dance, not to say the dance had to be related to their job. But the choreographer joined their work. From cleaning the normal home-trash, dead animal bodies, to the messy and dirty streets after festival celebration. She had a basic, but important, understanding of those people. Those people would like to try her idea of performing a dance.
The big trunks that the trash cleaners used frequently, and a verity of vechicles related to cleaning showed up at the performance. Thought it was a raining night, a lot of local people came. They saw the amazing things these trash cleaners could do, and thought again the meaning of trash cleaners in their lives. Gradually, their perspectives toward these people had changed. After that, when the trash cleaners collect trash for people, they greet each other.
At the start of the documentary, one of the trash cleaners said he was afraid that his child felt proud of her father's job was only because she was little, and she thought driving a trunk was a cool thing. I think, his child maybe would change her view from just being cool to disapprove, influencing by social standard. But, finally, she would be proud after she understands the meaning of it.
I like this documentary, because it revealed how an important but being neglected job can be rethought and redefined by people through art. And the determination the choreographer
showed. She turned things that were impossible to other into possible.
"How to judge the value of a job? Does a high salary and low labor-work job equal to a much valuable job?" I asked myself. Why my mother kept telling me to be realistic when I said I want to be a farmer? And why money could weight the value? I believe being a farmer is an important job. It provides the basic needs of everybody. And I also believe it doesn't only need labor work to be a farmer. How to cultivate an ecofriendly and greenish vegetable garden at the same time? Being a farmer also doesn't mean you don't have a business brain, because you have to think how to market these crops. All of these things are within the view of sustainable development. When I think how to do a thing, I want to first ask myself is this a sustainable thing to do?
The connection between food and sustainable development is the issue that influences me the most in Sweden. I saw how the processing of food affect climate change, thought of the meaning of being carnivore, and watched how a bunch of food has been wasted, which my friends and I turned it into a meal, and invited people who were willing to eat to come. Because of these simulations, the meaning of food toward people is not just about fufilling physical need. The processing of food influences environment. The idea of being a farmer is being disputed, which the society see it as a not-ideal job. The value people give food and the attitude people have when throwing food away push me to think that these still have to be changed.
There are lots of things I need to learn and to reflect. Can my education in university provide me the fundamental ability to think this? I think these stimulation will not only occur in school. Instead, lots of the examples are happening in reality.
The second documentary I want to share is quite intense. It is about the accident in Chernobyl, and its name is Metamorphism. To be honest, I felt sleepy after watching two documentaries, and tired o from working really hard to bike from station to theater in Stockholm this afternoon. My brain can not load more message, so in some clips of the movie, I fell asleep.
The overall idea of the movie is that after the accident, the radioactive elements were dumped into the river nearby the nuclear power plant. But, no one told the residence there. They only knew they shouldn't get too close to that river. The effect of the radiation exists on the people living on that land, and it will exist through generations. The film was shoted black and white. For me, the most unendurable scenario happened at the very beginning, which the camera had people's face occupied the whole screen. They looked at you, for about ten minutes. There was no background music, only the sound of wind, echoing "Whoo, whoo." He/She didn't say anything, but he/her self, already said everything needed to say. Why the local authority hid the news?
Their faces still came up to my mind after the film ended. A classmate sat behind me raise her hand and shared her thoughts. "I live not far away from this place, but I didn't know this until now. So thank you very much for having this film..." she said. I can't imagine that feeling. Really, I can't. When I turned back, she told me "You see. That's one of the reasons I don't want to go back to Russia." I felt more depressed. She is a really life example.
I haven't established the way to live with these scars. I scare. But how can I change? I haven't come up with an idea. However, the overall incident makes me think that I am still a blessed person. I "can" go back! Though the politics in Taiwan is not stable, and the economy is not that idea, we have a place to live. That is enough for people to cherish.
I don't know the atmosphere in Stockholm, since I just came and watched the films. But, these films pushed me to see myself again. The train tickets were expensive, but I was happy I had came. These things are worthy to think.
2014年4月5日 星期六
和同學討論台灣的社會運動Discussing Taiwan's social movement with friends
我一定要先說，這些同學願意和我討論，真得很謝謝他們，撥出時間聽我說，回應我。
反服貿的事件剛發生時，我是帶著有些震驚的心裡去看這件事，因為我覺得學生霸占立法院，直接的感覺就是這件事很嚴重，所謂的這件事，同時包含服貿的內容，及學生的行為。
震驚的心態直到警察和學生發生衝突的那天才淪為非常難過和沮喪，我那時後的想法是，我不管誰對誰錯，拜託，不要讓人受傷。而且，我開始想，等我回去後，台灣是否會變成一個我非常不熟悉的地方呢，生平第一次因為想到"台灣"而哭。(那天對同學的胡言亂語我在前面的網誌也說了)
我和CEMUS的同學說這件事。
我開始看服貿在說什麼，在FB上，很多朋友都會放除了懶人包以外的東西，有公聽會的對話記錄，有老師分析服貿對移民的影響，有老師為世代之間的磨合作溝通，還有一些歌，有的時候，看累了，想煩了，聽聽歌也還可以，但要注意不要一直聽，不然會變得太情緒化。
昨天下午，我和同學討論，這次討論有一位美國人P，一位德國人P，和兩位比利時人，V和A，最後還有三位台灣人。
我在這次的討論理，慢慢學到，應該是說感覺到一些東西，當我問，我還是想去看鳥，看樹看花看草，但是又知道這件事，我其實覺得很難平衡，P告訴我，生命中仍有許多美好的事，不要用這麼單一的角度看人生，他說，一位在納粹集中營裡出來的人，仍願意擁抱生命帶來的美麗。我想，我還在這滾動的世界裡，尋找其中的平衡。
當我們討論去靜坐的學生的動機時，P說，在華爾街的抗議，當你問每一位抗議民眾，你為什麼會在這裡，其實並不是每一個人都知道他或她為什麼會在這裡，這讓我漸漸有一新的感覺，原本以為學運是很純潔的，但我開始用比較理性的角度去看學運，而不純粹是情緒的感受。即使真的到場的人， 也不一定都是有相同的願景。
當我們說到這件社會運動，應該要怎麼樣才能帶出實質的影響力時，其中一位台灣學生說，我們應該要把立法院還給那些議員，讓議會運作，並且應該用柔性的方法解決。他的觀點是，我們一直霸占議會，會不會也給議員們有理由不解決這件事。V問我們有沒有辦法和社運的領導人討論這件事，她說即使一開始你可能會被人家說不團結，但是如果你是有理的，那他們終究會發現。到這時候，我才發現，我應該不會去說，原因是我沒有這麼大的參與感，但我知道V是一位敢做敢言，做自己的人，這些在她相信的事上特別容易顯現。而我也一直很想有自己如此在乎的事，我會覺得那樣是全力在活。
另一位台灣同學問到歐洲的學生社會運動，V說她們已經很久沒有學生社會運動了，但是有位老師就問過她們，你們這些學生怎麼了，為什麼社會上有這麼多不公平，不正義的事，你們都不會抗議?我想也許，下一個世代的容貌確是現在的學生要去打造的，而學生是常被賦予為有希望的一群人。A說到法國的社會運動，那是因為種族，這段我其實沒有聽很懂，還有也說到烏克蘭，她們的情況，好像也可以和台灣的相對看。另一位同學提到歐洲學生抗議更改修課規定的事，一開始學生抗議的規模很大，霸占學校的建築，但是等到聖誕節過後，學生因為回家，力量沒辦法再聚起來，也就散了，我聽了後，在想台灣的學運會怎麼結束，最近是否正逢春假呢?
在開始討論的前幾天，我一直期待這場討論能給我一些答案，比如說國家應該如何發展，人應該怎麼面對社會問題，但在蒐集服貿資料的過程中，漸漸的，我感覺到，我要得不是一個問題然後一個答案，社會的發展，和我自己的人生，也不會是有一個特定的答案，我甚至有感覺，社會和人生的存在並不會是為了尋找答案。
最後，我想說，我對這次討論最感開心的事:我能和一群朋友說:)
I must say it at first: Thanks to those classmates spending their time with me, responding to me, and discussing with me.
At the beginning of the anti-trade agreement incidence, I was shocked to see it Because, at the first instinct, I think the fact that students occupying parliament and the trade agreement itself are a really serious thing.
This shocked attitude suddenly turned into sad and depressed as the conflict between police and students happened. At that time, my thought was that no matter who is right or wrong, please, let no more people get hurt. And I started to wonder that would Taiwan become a really unfamiliar place when I get back. The first time in my life, I cried because of thinking Taiwan. (I have said the nonsense talk I had with my classmates before.)
I talked to students at CEMUS.
I started to read what the trade agreement is about. Many friends posted things other than lazy-people guide on FB. There are the records in meeting with public , the agreement's effect on immigrant analysed by the teacher, the communication done by a teacher to ease the conflict between different generations, and some songs too. Sometimes when I was a little tired, because of reading or thinking, it is good to listen to a song. But don't listen to it for too long, or we can be too emotional.
At the afternoon of yesterday, I discussed it with my classmates. One is from the States, P. One is from German, P. Two are from Belgium, V and A. And the other three are from Taiwan.
I learned, or I should say I felt, something in this discussion. When I said it is hard to remain the balance with this thing happening while I still want to see birds, tress, flowers and grass. P told me life still has beautiful things. Don't look at it in a narrow sense. There was one person, who got out of the concentration camp, still wanted to embrace the beautiful things life gave, he said. I think I am still thinking about how to remain this balance in this forever-rolling world.
When we talked about the motivation of the students going sit-in protest, P said, when you asked everyone in the Wall Street protest, you would find out, actually, not everyone knew why he or she was there. This fact gave me a new idea of the student social movement. I though student social movement as a pure thing. But now I see it with a more rational way, instead of an emotional way. Even for people who are there, they may not all have the same view.
When we talked about how this social movement can actually bring out solid effect, one of the Taiwanese said we should give the parliament back to officers to let them work, and to solve it in a soft way. His point is we gave those officers excuse to say they cannot work in the parliament occupied by the students. V asked us is it possible to discuss this issue with the leader of the movement. At first, people may say you are not supporting, but if you have the reason, they will see the point at the end, she said. At this point, I started to realize, I has too little passion to really say it. Because I don't have so much feeling of participating. But I knew she is someone that dare to say and act. This is especially true when things she cares come. I hope I can find things meant so much for me too. It is like living with your full effort.
The other Taiwanese student asked about the student social movement in Europe. V said it has been quite a long time since last movement. But one teacher has asked them "What's wrong with you? There are so many unfair and unjustified things in the society. Why don't you protest?" I think, maybe the appearance of the next generations is sculptured by students, and students are often being looked as hopeful. And A talked about the movement in France, it was about racial conflict. I didn't understand this part well. Ukraine was mentioned too. It seems like the incidence in Ukraine can take as a contrast to Taiwan's situation. Another student mentioned about students protesting the modified rules of taking courses. The protest was quite big, at first. They occupied the school building. But as the Christmas holiday ended, the student had no power to stick together again, as they had all went home for Christmas. After listening about this, I started to think, how Taiwan's student social movement will end. Isn't it the time for spring holiday?
Few days before the discussion, I was hoping that it can give me some answers. "How a country should develop?" "How people should live with social issue?", for example. But during the process of searching information about the trade agreement, gradually, I felt that what I want is not a question followed by an answer. The development of society and my life do not have a specific answer. I even have an idea that the existing of society and life is not aimed for seeking answers.
At last, I want to say the happiest thing in this discussion is that I have friends to talk to:)
反服貿的事件剛發生時，我是帶著有些震驚的心裡去看這件事，因為我覺得學生霸占立法院，直接的感覺就是這件事很嚴重，所謂的這件事，同時包含服貿的內容，及學生的行為。
震驚的心態直到警察和學生發生衝突的那天才淪為非常難過和沮喪，我那時後的想法是，我不管誰對誰錯，拜託，不要讓人受傷。而且，我開始想，等我回去後，台灣是否會變成一個我非常不熟悉的地方呢，生平第一次因為想到"台灣"而哭。(那天對同學的胡言亂語我在前面的網誌也說了)
我和CEMUS的同學說這件事。
我開始看服貿在說什麼，在FB上，很多朋友都會放除了懶人包以外的東西，有公聽會的對話記錄，有老師分析服貿對移民的影響，有老師為世代之間的磨合作溝通，還有一些歌，有的時候，看累了，想煩了，聽聽歌也還可以，但要注意不要一直聽，不然會變得太情緒化。
昨天下午，我和同學討論，這次討論有一位美國人P，一位德國人P，和兩位比利時人，V和A，最後還有三位台灣人。
我在這次的討論理，慢慢學到，應該是說感覺到一些東西，當我問，我還是想去看鳥，看樹看花看草，但是又知道這件事，我其實覺得很難平衡，P告訴我，生命中仍有許多美好的事，不要用這麼單一的角度看人生，他說，一位在納粹集中營裡出來的人，仍願意擁抱生命帶來的美麗。我想，我還在這滾動的世界裡，尋找其中的平衡。
當我們討論去靜坐的學生的動機時，P說，在華爾街的抗議，當你問每一位抗議民眾，你為什麼會在這裡，其實並不是每一個人都知道他或她為什麼會在這裡，這讓我漸漸有一新的感覺，原本以為學運是很純潔的，但我開始用比較理性的角度去看學運，而不純粹是情緒的感受。即使真的到場的人， 也不一定都是有相同的願景。
當我們說到這件社會運動，應該要怎麼樣才能帶出實質的影響力時，其中一位台灣學生說，我們應該要把立法院還給那些議員，讓議會運作，並且應該用柔性的方法解決。他的觀點是，我們一直霸占議會，會不會也給議員們有理由不解決這件事。V問我們有沒有辦法和社運的領導人討論這件事，她說即使一開始你可能會被人家說不團結，但是如果你是有理的，那他們終究會發現。到這時候，我才發現，我應該不會去說，原因是我沒有這麼大的參與感，但我知道V是一位敢做敢言，做自己的人，這些在她相信的事上特別容易顯現。而我也一直很想有自己如此在乎的事，我會覺得那樣是全力在活。
另一位台灣同學問到歐洲的學生社會運動，V說她們已經很久沒有學生社會運動了，但是有位老師就問過她們，你們這些學生怎麼了，為什麼社會上有這麼多不公平，不正義的事，你們都不會抗議?我想也許，下一個世代的容貌確是現在的學生要去打造的，而學生是常被賦予為有希望的一群人。A說到法國的社會運動，那是因為種族，這段我其實沒有聽很懂，還有也說到烏克蘭，她們的情況，好像也可以和台灣的相對看。另一位同學提到歐洲學生抗議更改修課規定的事，一開始學生抗議的規模很大，霸占學校的建築，但是等到聖誕節過後，學生因為回家，力量沒辦法再聚起來，也就散了，我聽了後，在想台灣的學運會怎麼結束，最近是否正逢春假呢?
在開始討論的前幾天，我一直期待這場討論能給我一些答案，比如說國家應該如何發展，人應該怎麼面對社會問題，但在蒐集服貿資料的過程中，漸漸的，我感覺到，我要得不是一個問題然後一個答案，社會的發展，和我自己的人生，也不會是有一個特定的答案，我甚至有感覺，社會和人生的存在並不會是為了尋找答案。
最後，我想說，我對這次討論最感開心的事:我能和一群朋友說:)
I must say it at first: Thanks to those classmates spending their time with me, responding to me, and discussing with me.
At the beginning of the anti-trade agreement incidence, I was shocked to see it Because, at the first instinct, I think the fact that students occupying parliament and the trade agreement itself are a really serious thing.
This shocked attitude suddenly turned into sad and depressed as the conflict between police and students happened. At that time, my thought was that no matter who is right or wrong, please, let no more people get hurt. And I started to wonder that would Taiwan become a really unfamiliar place when I get back. The first time in my life, I cried because of thinking Taiwan. (I have said the nonsense talk I had with my classmates before.)
I talked to students at CEMUS.
I started to read what the trade agreement is about. Many friends posted things other than lazy-people guide on FB. There are the records in meeting with public , the agreement's effect on immigrant analysed by the teacher, the communication done by a teacher to ease the conflict between different generations, and some songs too. Sometimes when I was a little tired, because of reading or thinking, it is good to listen to a song. But don't listen to it for too long, or we can be too emotional.
At the afternoon of yesterday, I discussed it with my classmates. One is from the States, P. One is from German, P. Two are from Belgium, V and A. And the other three are from Taiwan.
I learned, or I should say I felt, something in this discussion. When I said it is hard to remain the balance with this thing happening while I still want to see birds, tress, flowers and grass. P told me life still has beautiful things. Don't look at it in a narrow sense. There was one person, who got out of the concentration camp, still wanted to embrace the beautiful things life gave, he said. I think I am still thinking about how to remain this balance in this forever-rolling world.
When we talked about the motivation of the students going sit-in protest, P said, when you asked everyone in the Wall Street protest, you would find out, actually, not everyone knew why he or she was there. This fact gave me a new idea of the student social movement. I though student social movement as a pure thing. But now I see it with a more rational way, instead of an emotional way. Even for people who are there, they may not all have the same view.
When we talked about how this social movement can actually bring out solid effect, one of the Taiwanese said we should give the parliament back to officers to let them work, and to solve it in a soft way. His point is we gave those officers excuse to say they cannot work in the parliament occupied by the students. V asked us is it possible to discuss this issue with the leader of the movement. At first, people may say you are not supporting, but if you have the reason, they will see the point at the end, she said. At this point, I started to realize, I has too little passion to really say it. Because I don't have so much feeling of participating. But I knew she is someone that dare to say and act. This is especially true when things she cares come. I hope I can find things meant so much for me too. It is like living with your full effort.
The other Taiwanese student asked about the student social movement in Europe. V said it has been quite a long time since last movement. But one teacher has asked them "What's wrong with you? There are so many unfair and unjustified things in the society. Why don't you protest?" I think, maybe the appearance of the next generations is sculptured by students, and students are often being looked as hopeful. And A talked about the movement in France, it was about racial conflict. I didn't understand this part well. Ukraine was mentioned too. It seems like the incidence in Ukraine can take as a contrast to Taiwan's situation. Another student mentioned about students protesting the modified rules of taking courses. The protest was quite big, at first. They occupied the school building. But as the Christmas holiday ended, the student had no power to stick together again, as they had all went home for Christmas. After listening about this, I started to think, how Taiwan's student social movement will end. Isn't it the time for spring holiday?
Few days before the discussion, I was hoping that it can give me some answers. "How a country should develop?" "How people should live with social issue?", for example. But during the process of searching information about the trade agreement, gradually, I felt that what I want is not a question followed by an answer. The development of society and my life do not have a specific answer. I even have an idea that the existing of society and life is not aimed for seeking answers.
At last, I want to say the happiest thing in this discussion is that I have friends to talk to:)
2014年4月2日 星期三
我因能認識你們而開心I am happy because I know you!
我想放完那次美好的旅行的照片，即使和談話內容無關
I want to finish the beautiful photo of the excersion I had, even though it had nothing to do with the content.
今天一直惴惴不安，想到要邀全班有興趣的同學來討論學運，和將在瑞典的第一次考試，我總有些緊繃。
但其實只要勇敢些，就不會有這些庸人自擾的煩惱。我覺得勇敢，除了身旁的人能幫助你增加些勇敢的原料，有的時候自己的認真和信念也會讓自己不懼怕。今天很多人幫我增加了前者，後著就是我要自立了。
一開始我還在想真的有人會注意這件事嗎?S幫我喊了一句，請大家注意。就這樣，我帶著有些結巴與難過的語氣開始了，我說了我在fb上看到的情形，也說了為什麼我會想和大家說這件事，我希望能聽到帶給我很多思考空間的同學們的想法，最後我放島嶼天光的影片，比較抱歉的是英文字幕很小，坐在教室另一邊的人完全看不到。過程中，R幫我切換電腦螢幕很多次，很謝謝他。
在講話的過程中，我看到A對我笑，回坐位的過程我也看到後面的同學和旁邊的同學對我笑，雖然最後我旁邊的同學還是問我:台灣究竟發生什麼事? 這是我的錯，沒有講清楚。
但是這些笑容真得讓我覺得講話沒有這麼困難，甚至是說，表達自己的立場不是件讓人害怕的事。
今天我給了V卡片，我好開心終於送她卡片了，也是因為她，我才有和全班說，看別人是怎麼想的想法，更是因為她，我知道我可以一步一步慢慢學，我真的好希望有一天能像她如此自信和陽光的活著。
還有P，我也好謝謝他，讓我無理頭的說話，幫我辦活動的同時，給我這麼多空間決定時間和內容，很感動他因相信友誼而聽我說話，這就是最好的支持。
Today was an anxiety day. Thinking about inviting classmates to discuss the social movement in Taiwan, and with the fist coming exam at night, I felt quite anxious.
But the truth is if I am brave enough, these avoidable worries would not exist. I think not only people around me can add more ingredients of being brave to me, the efforts made by myself and the believe come from myself can also let me not be afraid. Today, many people gave me the previous one. I should help myself with the later one.
At the beginning, I was doubting that whether anyone in class would be interested in it. "Pay your attention" S said, helping me to draw back people's focus. As the time went on, I started with a bit of stuttering and sadness tone. I said the news I saw on fb, and I also said why I would want to tell everyone about this. I wish I can hear thought from those classmates, who have brought many space for me to think. At last, I played the Island Sunrise video. What made me feel sorry was that the subtitle is too small. People sitting in another side of the classroom couldn't really see it. During all the process, R helped a lot with changing mode from computer to the screen. Thanks him a lot.
When I spoke, I saw A smiled at me. When I came back to my seat, the classmates sitting back and next to me also smiled at me. Even though, the classmate sat next to me asked me afterwards " What's really happened in Taiwan?" It is my responsibility to let him know, since I had taken the time to speak. I should be more clear next time.
But, all in all, these smiles gave me an idea that it is not so difficult to speak. To be more accurate, it is not so terrifying to say one's opinion.
I gave the card to V today. I felt so happy I finally gave her the card. Because of her, I dare to think that I can talk to whole class to hear other's way of thinking. More than that, she let me understand I can learn with one step at a time. I truly hope someday I can be like her, living in a confidence and bright way. (It doesn't mean to be her, but to be myself with the same spirit of life attitude.)
And P, so much thanks I want to give him. He let me talk with a no-point way. Helping me to hold this event, while giving me so much room to decide time and place. I felt so touched that he believes in friendship so he listened to me. That is the best support one can give.
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| 總覺得這種大動物特別讓我喜歡。I like this kind of large animal very much. 歐洲野牛(其實是被人養的)European bison(rasied by human) |
2014年3月27日 星期四
是不是該讓自己休息了?Is it time to take a rest?
 |
| 這是歐洲野牛再吃東西. These are European bisons, eating. |
但是人一天真的只有24小時，然說我抱著"只要我願意，沒有事情是不可能的"態度，但是我忽略了我不夠強壯的心和我不是機器人這件事。要求自己早上起床去看鳥，ˋ要求自己早上坐在圖書館，下午上課，班晚再坐在圖書館，最後晚上蒐集台灣的資料，一天下來，我就覺得好累，隔天下午，氣候變遷的工作坊結束後，我只覺得心理不想運作，腦袋是知道我應該再去學什麼。後來我回宿舍了，而且去了超市，我給我自己20克朗，決定可以買我喜歡的東西。
然而，心理真正的快樂，往往都不會是金錢能買到的，昨天我想找人說話時，我竟然想到粘粘，然後晚上更神奇的是，她竟然敲我FB!
所以今早起來，我知道我還是需要休息的，看書，關心社會議題，都是好事，但並不代表自己的感覺就是不值得重視的事。
I woke up this morning. Suddenly, I missed my home so much. But this kind of feeling was soon buried in my mind by the anxious of the up coming midterm exam and the how-are-Taiwan's mind state. Since the talk I had with V, I thought I should pay more attention to what's happening in Taiwan. Then I can discuss with people here. If I didn't say the news, they wouldn't know.
But everyone really just has 24 hours a day. Though I kept telling myself, if I would like to do it, nothing is impossible. I ignored my not-strong-enough will, and the fact that I was not a robot. I asked myself to watch bird every morning, asked myself to stay in the library in the morning, asked myself to go to class in the afternoon, asked myself to stay in the library in the evening, and asked myself to gather the information about Taiwan at night. After the day passed, I felt so tired. On the next day, at the end of the climate change workshop, I felt my heart didn't want to move! My brain knew what I should learn next, though. I went home instead, and gave myself 20 kron to buy things I like in supper market.
However, most of the time, happiness is not something you can buy with money. When I wanted to find someone to talk, I though about 粘. And surprisingly, at night, she really called me on FB.
So today, as I waked up this morning, I realised I still need to take a rest. Reading and paying attention to social issues are good things. But that doesn't mean it is not important to take care of my own feeling.
2014年3月24日 星期一
Ugly things remain, but they can not stop beautiful things from being beautiful.
The first time I saw moose. They are such a giant animal with an adorable nose.
The first time I saw herds of deer hiding in the woods. It reminds me of the painting I drew and imagination I had when I was a child for them.
The first time I was chased by three European bison. But don't worry, they were just asking for foods though!
The first time I felt free and comfortable talking with teachers. I was not nervous about using English, or felt sorry that I was not familiar with the species name. I was here to learn.
The first time I told Cassie how nice it is to have her around in Sweden. Eventhough she is Canandian, it is the person that matters.
All thgether, the peaceful scenery and the lively animals made my day a beautiful day.
I remember I had one discussion with my classmates, talking about geo-engineering. One guy said why don't just let human died out. At that moment, I really wanted to tell him though the world we human live is not always beautiful, but the smile and trust showed on human are the reasons I think life is worth living. The same is true for the beautiful views the nature offers. They make me think I want to protect them, and I want to live on with all of these beauties.
My mood changed as I got on line on fb. I saw news about the social movement, based mainly on students, and the conflicts between studens and police officers. Panic and sorrow occupied my mind. However I didn't know how to respond. After I met friends there, I talked to them. They helped me get things more practical and at the same time ease my sorrow. I will take their advice to gather the information about this movement and have a friendship talk with other people. By doing this, I want to learn how they think. That is also the expectations I have for education. To learn how to think. And the last thing is to keep a positive attitude. Every one has their work to do in this incident, and our ultimate goal are to make our home a better place.
2014年3月13日 星期四
學校與世界
我在FB上放了我去野外課的照片，另一門我修的課，卻無法簡單用圖片帶過，但卻是我最感興趣的:氣候變遷
我會有這種感覺，是因為這門課像是大學和社會的橋梁，來自各方的專家，組織的負責人和參與氣候變遷大會的人，來到這堂課當講師，與我們分享他們的經驗與觀點，多方的聲音讓我感覺到世界的多元。
在了解氣候變遷的科學根據外，我們也用各種角度去切入氣候變遷的概念，從歷史，從人類的心理，從政治，討論氣候變遷這個概念在整個人類歷裡，是如何被感覺和認定的，討論政治上各國的態度與個國在乎的利益，也討論人們為麼會不接受氣候變遷。
上課內容是多元的，氣候變遷影響的層面是廣泛的，但更多的是，我看到氣候變遷的多面向和未來是如此不確定的狀況下，我們，這群來自各方的學生，如何去討論這些事，真的是從彼此身上學習。有一天上課，我忍不住寫下這個感覺
"..我對學習，上學
這件是整個改觀
當然還是在看書
但是整個上學的狀況都改了
我在看人怎麼報告
別人怎樣說話..."
絕大部分的人是想朝永續發展的方向前進的，而這個意識，我們是想帶入社會裡的。在這裡，我們不只說理論，我們在想如何和社會連結，我們應該怎麼做，所以有了Project cafe'，所以又有了Folk kitchen，這樣子的實際行動，讓我對大學存在的感覺，真的是多了分希望，我感覺到大學教育是融入世界的，而不是在象牙塔裡，更甚著，我感覺到這種大主題，大內容，不確定性瀰漫的課，存在於大學，對世界朝用續發展前進是有非常大的幫助的，因為永續發展，這概念，多少也和不確定性的存在有關，而這不應該是出了大學後才開始學習的，大學正是一個資源豐富的地方，豐富的範圍延伸到有來自各種不同領域的人，這是永續發展需要包含的，也是讓學生知道開會開很久，原因來自於不同領域的人有不同的觀點，但我們不就也是這樣才看到彼此的觀點，才被啟發嗎?我不知道這樣說會不會過度"神話"了大學，但我在這裡認識的一些人，真的是抱著能行動，能被啟發的熱情進大學的。
森林系的課也有提到永續發展，但有多少的內容成為考試關鍵字?又有多少學生在寫完後真的感覺到永續發展和社會的關聯?我無法下定論，因為沒有彼此討論過。我很想說，林政學和經營學，有時常不知道老師說到哪，或是一整堂課下來無法有個完整結論的狀況，其實是正常的，因為很多議題(在這裡也被討論，像是切蛋糕，關於公平原則的)不會有一個明確的答案存在，每一個概念和議題關乎於你怎麼看，而世界上不同文化和背景的人太多了，如果只給一個說法，是不合乎情理的，但就是這種情況，我們這群大學生才更需要學習，去了解彼此，與對方溝通，(像氣候變遷影響層面如此廣泛的議題，當然就更需要了解和溝通)，我們學習走入世界。
我會有這種感覺，是因為這門課像是大學和社會的橋梁，來自各方的專家，組織的負責人和參與氣候變遷大會的人，來到這堂課當講師，與我們分享他們的經驗與觀點，多方的聲音讓我感覺到世界的多元。
在了解氣候變遷的科學根據外，我們也用各種角度去切入氣候變遷的概念，從歷史，從人類的心理，從政治，討論氣候變遷這個概念在整個人類歷裡，是如何被感覺和認定的，討論政治上各國的態度與個國在乎的利益，也討論人們為麼會不接受氣候變遷。
上課內容是多元的，氣候變遷影響的層面是廣泛的，但更多的是，我看到氣候變遷的多面向和未來是如此不確定的狀況下，我們，這群來自各方的學生，如何去討論這些事，真的是從彼此身上學習。有一天上課，我忍不住寫下這個感覺
"..我對學習，上學
這件是整個改觀
當然還是在看書
但是整個上學的狀況都改了
我在看人怎麼報告
別人怎樣說話..."
絕大部分的人是想朝永續發展的方向前進的，而這個意識，我們是想帶入社會裡的。在這裡，我們不只說理論，我們在想如何和社會連結，我們應該怎麼做，所以有了Project cafe'，所以又有了Folk kitchen，這樣子的實際行動，讓我對大學存在的感覺，真的是多了分希望，我感覺到大學教育是融入世界的，而不是在象牙塔裡，更甚著，我感覺到這種大主題，大內容，不確定性瀰漫的課，存在於大學，對世界朝用續發展前進是有非常大的幫助的，因為永續發展，這概念，多少也和不確定性的存在有關，而這不應該是出了大學後才開始學習的，大學正是一個資源豐富的地方，豐富的範圍延伸到有來自各種不同領域的人，這是永續發展需要包含的，也是讓學生知道開會開很久，原因來自於不同領域的人有不同的觀點，但我們不就也是這樣才看到彼此的觀點，才被啟發嗎?我不知道這樣說會不會過度"神話"了大學，但我在這裡認識的一些人，真的是抱著能行動，能被啟發的熱情進大學的。
森林系的課也有提到永續發展，但有多少的內容成為考試關鍵字?又有多少學生在寫完後真的感覺到永續發展和社會的關聯?我無法下定論，因為沒有彼此討論過。我很想說，林政學和經營學，有時常不知道老師說到哪，或是一整堂課下來無法有個完整結論的狀況，其實是正常的，因為很多議題(在這裡也被討論，像是切蛋糕，關於公平原則的)不會有一個明確的答案存在，每一個概念和議題關乎於你怎麼看，而世界上不同文化和背景的人太多了，如果只給一個說法，是不合乎情理的，但就是這種情況，我們這群大學生才更需要學習，去了解彼此，與對方溝通，(像氣候變遷影響層面如此廣泛的議題，當然就更需要了解和溝通)，我們學習走入世界。
2014年3月10日 星期一
Folk kitchen
理想是美好的
但要建立起來，在做的過程會知道哪裡不容易
但如果信念堅定，是不會怕的
我們是一群相信人應該要以永續發展為原則的學生，所以我們今天聚在一起，來到Project cafe'的folk kitchen group. 這個group的成員 認為許多大賣場每天都會丟棄很多還可以吃得蔬菜和水果，而這實在是一種浪費。所以，在大賣場打烊的時候，大家會去收集這些食物，讓後用這些食材，做成晚餐，請願意來的人吃，能付多少，就付多少，同樣的，能吃多少就吃多少。我認同這個想法，在台大的那段時間，我就發現住宿舍的同學很浪費食物，這社會的運作有問題，有那多食物被浪費，但還是有人餓肚子，科技再怎麼發達，研發出再怎麼多的糧食改良方法，如果我們還是這樣運作，我覺得現況是不會改變的。所以我加入他們，一個已經運作一學期的計畫，相信他們做的事，也願意在這邊幫忙，有的時候就是和一群這樣相信改變的朋友在一起，才更會感覺到自己存在的空間，像是生命中有個願意努力付出的目標。
這一次，我去了兩次Dumpster diving，就是潛入大買廠的廚餘堆找食物。星期四，有五個人，真得很不敢相信裡面被丟棄的食物，一大桶的蘋果，許多大黃瓜，黃椒紅椒，萵苣，西洋梨...那天晚上，深夜12點，我們每人都帶了一大袋(至少10公斤的食物回到住的地方，整理一下，準備當星期日的晚餐食材。星期五，我們分散人力，我負責的這區還有另一位美國男孩，但是因為下雨，再加上我有點累，他有報告要趕，沒去了。星期六，我先睡了一覺，起來時已經12點，是看了一下鬧鐘，才想起來不能繼續睡。我快速出門，但等我到地點時已經有兩個人準備離開，他們看一下我，笑笑得和我說裡面沒有什麼了，我有點驚訝，但是也有點手足無措，不知道是我的同伴來過了，還是如何，後還我同伴來了，再和另一組人馬連絡後，我們得前往下一個超市。於是深夜12點半，我和我的夥伴，騎著腳踏車，靠著google map找到另一家比較近的超市，除了冷風外，我真的覺得在緯度高的地方運動需要比較多肺活量，我一下就好累，但是心理只想咬著牙也要撐過去，不能因為我是女生，就叫他騎慢一點。
然而，這個新到的超市沒有我們可以進去的地方，所以我們折回了。
星期日，就是Folk kitchen開張，我白天有課，所以早早先把食物交給同組的夥伴，先去上課，中午過後再去幫忙。挺疲憊的，晚上半夜起來，騎腳踏車，隔天早上還有課，上完課後是去廚房幫忙。但是更有一種，理想越是不容易達成，越需要堅持的勇氣的態度。
面對的是上百顆的蘋果，將近五十個的大麵包，還有其他蔬菜，廚房裡，七八個人，討論著如何用這些食菜做出50人份的晚餐，(根據fb，有50人會來)。
我只記得我不斷的削皮，削胡蘿剝皮，削蘋果皮，不斷切東西，切蘋果，切梨子，切麵包，切番茄,,,從12點到5點，都一直在做這些事。然後，等晚餐時間真的到了，人們真的近來排隊，我看到的菜餚完全是我不敢相信從那些食材裡變出來的，有馬鈴薯泥，蔬菜沙拉，香蒜麵包，烤黃瓜，烤椒，還有好喝的綠色和深茶色的湯，最後是非常多盤的apple crumble.
終於坐下來休息了，大家也都聚在一起，又看到我最喜歡的V，和她在一起總是充滿能量，而更讓人感動的是，我們真的做出可以給很多人吃的晚餐，從dumpster diving來的!
最後就是收拾環境，打掃也是很累的，收收收，收到十點半，終於回家了。
回到家，在椅子上坐著不會動，小時後不懂媽媽說累到不會動是什麼意思，甚至忽略這句話，現在很有感覺，真的是僅提起腳上的一根筋都不想，但是腦袋裡卻是知道，這樣子做是有最初的理想的: 讓人們知道，我們的社會其實常浪費許多食物。這個道理很間單，但是很不容易讓人感同身受，就像氣候變遷，人們不是缺乏知識，是缺乏正確的心態去面對和改變，希望透過做給你看，(dumpster diving!煮晚餐)，讓你更加對"浪費食物"有感覺，也讓你相信，這些被浪費的食物是可以做出很好吃，當然也可以吃，的菜的。
我很想要給這篇文章一張照片，但是概念好多，不只是食物，不只是辛苦，不只是永續發展的願望，還有我自己會朝哪裡前進，怎麼用一張圖片表達呢?還是依賴文字吧!
我不知道以後會做什麼，但是有感覺，朝永續發展的事，是我會想去做的，像是台大的四健會，我記得的也有很關心食物的議題，等到回台灣，該去了解一下。
但要建立起來，在做的過程會知道哪裡不容易
但如果信念堅定，是不會怕的
我們是一群相信人應該要以永續發展為原則的學生，所以我們今天聚在一起，來到Project cafe'的folk kitchen group. 這個group的成員 認為許多大賣場每天都會丟棄很多還可以吃得蔬菜和水果，而這實在是一種浪費。所以，在大賣場打烊的時候，大家會去收集這些食物，讓後用這些食材，做成晚餐，請願意來的人吃，能付多少，就付多少，同樣的，能吃多少就吃多少。我認同這個想法，在台大的那段時間，我就發現住宿舍的同學很浪費食物，這社會的運作有問題，有那多食物被浪費，但還是有人餓肚子，科技再怎麼發達，研發出再怎麼多的糧食改良方法，如果我們還是這樣運作，我覺得現況是不會改變的。所以我加入他們，一個已經運作一學期的計畫，相信他們做的事，也願意在這邊幫忙，有的時候就是和一群這樣相信改變的朋友在一起，才更會感覺到自己存在的空間，像是生命中有個願意努力付出的目標。
這一次，我去了兩次Dumpster diving，就是潛入大買廠的廚餘堆找食物。星期四，有五個人，真得很不敢相信裡面被丟棄的食物，一大桶的蘋果，許多大黃瓜，黃椒紅椒，萵苣，西洋梨...那天晚上，深夜12點，我們每人都帶了一大袋(至少10公斤的食物回到住的地方，整理一下，準備當星期日的晚餐食材。星期五，我們分散人力，我負責的這區還有另一位美國男孩，但是因為下雨，再加上我有點累，他有報告要趕，沒去了。星期六，我先睡了一覺，起來時已經12點，是看了一下鬧鐘，才想起來不能繼續睡。我快速出門，但等我到地點時已經有兩個人準備離開，他們看一下我，笑笑得和我說裡面沒有什麼了，我有點驚訝，但是也有點手足無措，不知道是我的同伴來過了，還是如何，後還我同伴來了，再和另一組人馬連絡後，我們得前往下一個超市。於是深夜12點半，我和我的夥伴，騎著腳踏車，靠著google map找到另一家比較近的超市，除了冷風外，我真的覺得在緯度高的地方運動需要比較多肺活量，我一下就好累，但是心理只想咬著牙也要撐過去，不能因為我是女生，就叫他騎慢一點。
然而，這個新到的超市沒有我們可以進去的地方，所以我們折回了。
星期日，就是Folk kitchen開張，我白天有課，所以早早先把食物交給同組的夥伴，先去上課，中午過後再去幫忙。挺疲憊的，晚上半夜起來，騎腳踏車，隔天早上還有課，上完課後是去廚房幫忙。但是更有一種，理想越是不容易達成，越需要堅持的勇氣的態度。
面對的是上百顆的蘋果，將近五十個的大麵包，還有其他蔬菜，廚房裡，七八個人，討論著如何用這些食菜做出50人份的晚餐，(根據fb，有50人會來)。
我只記得我不斷的削皮，削胡蘿剝皮，削蘋果皮，不斷切東西，切蘋果，切梨子，切麵包，切番茄,,,從12點到5點，都一直在做這些事。然後，等晚餐時間真的到了，人們真的近來排隊，我看到的菜餚完全是我不敢相信從那些食材裡變出來的，有馬鈴薯泥，蔬菜沙拉，香蒜麵包，烤黃瓜，烤椒，還有好喝的綠色和深茶色的湯，最後是非常多盤的apple crumble.
終於坐下來休息了，大家也都聚在一起，又看到我最喜歡的V，和她在一起總是充滿能量，而更讓人感動的是，我們真的做出可以給很多人吃的晚餐，從dumpster diving來的!
最後就是收拾環境，打掃也是很累的，收收收，收到十點半，終於回家了。
回到家，在椅子上坐著不會動，小時後不懂媽媽說累到不會動是什麼意思，甚至忽略這句話，現在很有感覺，真的是僅提起腳上的一根筋都不想，但是腦袋裡卻是知道，這樣子做是有最初的理想的: 讓人們知道，我們的社會其實常浪費許多食物。這個道理很間單，但是很不容易讓人感同身受，就像氣候變遷，人們不是缺乏知識，是缺乏正確的心態去面對和改變，希望透過做給你看，(dumpster diving!煮晚餐)，讓你更加對"浪費食物"有感覺，也讓你相信，這些被浪費的食物是可以做出很好吃，當然也可以吃，的菜的。
我很想要給這篇文章一張照片，但是概念好多，不只是食物，不只是辛苦，不只是永續發展的願望，還有我自己會朝哪裡前進，怎麼用一張圖片表達呢?還是依賴文字吧!
我不知道以後會做什麼，但是有感覺，朝永續發展的事，是我會想去做的，像是台大的四健會，我記得的也有很關心食物的議題，等到回台灣，該去了解一下。
2014年2月28日 星期五
Take baby-step
當很多想不透的事情纏在心裡，覺得鬱悶時，我知道最好的方式是和老師或好朋友說。在沒有很熟的朋友的地方，我其實不期待會有這樣的機會，但今天發生了。
來到瑞典後，有一天被一位朋友問，"如果有一天你發現你在做的事，是你不喜歡的，只是你周遭的人期待妳這麼做，那妳有沒有勇氣說放棄"我開始想過往的經驗，然後發現，我過去都不敢放棄，現在做得很多決定，也是不太敢的。但是我也看出，在這樣下去，我就會為了別人的期待而活，而我不希望我有這樣的人生，所以，我開始問自己，那我是誰，我期待我是誰?
巨大的問號就如此從天而降，每天早上起來都被這個問題追著跑，好像急著要自己趕快去發現我到底對什麼有興趣，到底做什麼事才不會浪費時間?心裡總是糾結在些問題上。
今天沒有課，我去聽永續發展的計畫活動。一推開門，就發現同堂課的L，他來自比利時，頂著不修邊幅的頭髮，卻又穿著整齊，一頭亂髮反倒給人很自然親切的感覺，之前上課聽他說的意見，我於是一直很想和他說話。和他打招呼後，才發現他在計畫內。
我聽著每一組說著她們的計畫，有室內種植蔬菜的，有晚餐來自在地農夫和市場廚餘的，有用藝術響應永續發展的，還有討論交換學生與永續發展的。等大家都報告完，小組們就四散，吃點心和聊天。和L再次聊天前，我遇到一位學政治的瑞典人，他去好多地方阿，去英國工作，去南美洲旅行，然後又去西班牙學西班牙語，最後才回到瑞典讀大學，這些在上大學前做了這麼多不同於我做得事的人，往往更刺激我。
我和L確認我剛剛接收的訊息對不對，他說臉書和網站上會寫，我可以再去看，接著有人和他說該去討論國際學生和永續發展的問題了，他對我說，有興趣有可以加入討論。我抓了最後一片的薯片，也走進了討論間。
這個討論間就更考驗我的英文能力了，我很認真的聽。聽起來像是我們在瑞典Uppsla University地CEMUS裡，(CEMUS是一個學生運作，進行永續發展的課程的一個地方)，每年都有很多交換學生來，也有很多交換學生離開，但是永續發展的這個概念不應該因為學生離開這裡，就在這些學生身上消失，更精準的來說，交換學生雖然是來交換的，但有很多事情應該也可以永續發展，然而，這並不是鼓勵我們帶一套完全和CEMUS一樣的概念回到家裡，因為每一個地方的文化不同，然後組頭請大家說出想法。
我聽著，無法確定自己是否真的理解每個人說的話，等討論完，大家幾乎都走了，L在看這個計畫要和大學承交的funding草案，身旁的人問他在看什麼，他嘆了口氣說:我也不知道這到底在說什麼，我趁機插了一句話，"L, I want to know what we just discussed is about.. "我想和他說我聽到的事。
之後，是我今天最感溫暖的談話了，他和我說一遍更完整的內容，但他也告訴我，覺得不清楚是正常的，因為CEMUS的概念，和剛剛討論的事，就像在氣候變遷的課程裡，沒有人真的知道自己在朝什麼方向前進。
"我很高興知道我不是唯一不知道在做什麼的人"我告訴他。
L說就像我們上的氣候變遷，每一堂上課的老師都不一樣，大家的想法自然不同，課程的協理人其實也不知道這樣的課會把我們帶去哪裡，我們有的是不斷的討論和批判，"你認為如何"是最常被拋出的，緊接著的討論將又是引經據典又是天馬行空，一樣的是，每次"上完課"，心裡一定會帶著更多問號離開。
"我們走進一堂不一樣的課，這堂課沒有告訴你妳需要記什麼，妳需要會什麼，我們甚至連交報告的範圍都很寬鬆，但是我們有太多問題被拋出來，這些問題討論著未來，這些問題受人類運作的社會影響，政客們在玩弄這些問題，絕大部分的人選擇忽視這些問題，而我們，每周一定要討論這些事。"L說。
"我來到CEMUS後開始質疑很多我人生正在進行的事，人生是要拿一個學位，然後結婚工作就結束嗎?事實上那樣的學習，為了換取學分，每天坐在教室裡，真如行屍走肉!我想要的是思考和探索人生的機會，等到我真的發現我們要的是這樣的人生，每天早上起來卻又嚇壞了，'又是新的一天，我今天到底要做什麼'，所以我只能Take baby-step，每天做一些小改變，讓人生繼續向前。
夏天結束後，我還是會回比利時，我也許還是會完成我的學位，但是我知道我不要走大家期望的人生，我要去農場學習，也許還要去旅行.."L很努力的和我說。
原來我不是唯一不知道剛剛討論的，氣候變遷和人生會如何的人，每一件事都有太多可能，不像是以前的教育，所有要記的都好清楚，要考的也都好明確，回想起來，我受的教育是錯誤的，我應該要知道，不是所有的事情都像科學說的那樣，都像數學一樣，答案清楚，在這裡，清楚的看到事情事不明確的，討論起來也很抽象，就像我的人生，但是我不用因為不清楚而frickined out，我也不用每天一早起來，因為不確定今天會不會有想出"影響人生"重大觀念的發生而憂慮，我要去想的是我現在在做的事值不值得，真的是我在乎的嗎?未來無法被確定，我現在做得事會如何影響未來，L說的take baby-step讓我很有感覺，既然我無法一下就跨這麼大步，去看到未來的人生，那我先小心的走，至少我確定我在走，至少我可以去思考，我走的每一步，是不是我想走的。
來到瑞典後，有一天被一位朋友問，"如果有一天你發現你在做的事，是你不喜歡的，只是你周遭的人期待妳這麼做，那妳有沒有勇氣說放棄"我開始想過往的經驗，然後發現，我過去都不敢放棄，現在做得很多決定，也是不太敢的。但是我也看出，在這樣下去，我就會為了別人的期待而活，而我不希望我有這樣的人生，所以，我開始問自己，那我是誰，我期待我是誰?
巨大的問號就如此從天而降，每天早上起來都被這個問題追著跑，好像急著要自己趕快去發現我到底對什麼有興趣，到底做什麼事才不會浪費時間?心裡總是糾結在些問題上。
今天沒有課，我去聽永續發展的計畫活動。一推開門，就發現同堂課的L，他來自比利時，頂著不修邊幅的頭髮，卻又穿著整齊，一頭亂髮反倒給人很自然親切的感覺，之前上課聽他說的意見，我於是一直很想和他說話。和他打招呼後，才發現他在計畫內。
我聽著每一組說著她們的計畫，有室內種植蔬菜的，有晚餐來自在地農夫和市場廚餘的，有用藝術響應永續發展的，還有討論交換學生與永續發展的。等大家都報告完，小組們就四散，吃點心和聊天。和L再次聊天前，我遇到一位學政治的瑞典人，他去好多地方阿，去英國工作，去南美洲旅行，然後又去西班牙學西班牙語，最後才回到瑞典讀大學，這些在上大學前做了這麼多不同於我做得事的人，往往更刺激我。
我和L確認我剛剛接收的訊息對不對，他說臉書和網站上會寫，我可以再去看，接著有人和他說該去討論國際學生和永續發展的問題了，他對我說，有興趣有可以加入討論。我抓了最後一片的薯片，也走進了討論間。
這個討論間就更考驗我的英文能力了，我很認真的聽。聽起來像是我們在瑞典Uppsla University地CEMUS裡，(CEMUS是一個學生運作，進行永續發展的課程的一個地方)，每年都有很多交換學生來，也有很多交換學生離開，但是永續發展的這個概念不應該因為學生離開這裡，就在這些學生身上消失，更精準的來說，交換學生雖然是來交換的，但有很多事情應該也可以永續發展，然而，這並不是鼓勵我們帶一套完全和CEMUS一樣的概念回到家裡，因為每一個地方的文化不同，然後組頭請大家說出想法。
我聽著，無法確定自己是否真的理解每個人說的話，等討論完，大家幾乎都走了，L在看這個計畫要和大學承交的funding草案，身旁的人問他在看什麼，他嘆了口氣說:我也不知道這到底在說什麼，我趁機插了一句話，"L, I want to know what we just discussed is about.. "我想和他說我聽到的事。
之後，是我今天最感溫暖的談話了，他和我說一遍更完整的內容，但他也告訴我，覺得不清楚是正常的，因為CEMUS的概念，和剛剛討論的事，就像在氣候變遷的課程裡，沒有人真的知道自己在朝什麼方向前進。
"我很高興知道我不是唯一不知道在做什麼的人"我告訴他。
L說就像我們上的氣候變遷，每一堂上課的老師都不一樣，大家的想法自然不同，課程的協理人其實也不知道這樣的課會把我們帶去哪裡，我們有的是不斷的討論和批判，"你認為如何"是最常被拋出的，緊接著的討論將又是引經據典又是天馬行空，一樣的是，每次"上完課"，心裡一定會帶著更多問號離開。
"我們走進一堂不一樣的課，這堂課沒有告訴你妳需要記什麼，妳需要會什麼，我們甚至連交報告的範圍都很寬鬆，但是我們有太多問題被拋出來，這些問題討論著未來，這些問題受人類運作的社會影響，政客們在玩弄這些問題，絕大部分的人選擇忽視這些問題，而我們，每周一定要討論這些事。"L說。
"我來到CEMUS後開始質疑很多我人生正在進行的事，人生是要拿一個學位，然後結婚工作就結束嗎?事實上那樣的學習，為了換取學分，每天坐在教室裡，真如行屍走肉!我想要的是思考和探索人生的機會，等到我真的發現我們要的是這樣的人生，每天早上起來卻又嚇壞了，'又是新的一天，我今天到底要做什麼'，所以我只能Take baby-step，每天做一些小改變，讓人生繼續向前。
夏天結束後，我還是會回比利時，我也許還是會完成我的學位，但是我知道我不要走大家期望的人生，我要去農場學習，也許還要去旅行.."L很努力的和我說。
原來我不是唯一不知道剛剛討論的，氣候變遷和人生會如何的人，每一件事都有太多可能，不像是以前的教育，所有要記的都好清楚，要考的也都好明確，回想起來，我受的教育是錯誤的，我應該要知道，不是所有的事情都像科學說的那樣，都像數學一樣，答案清楚，在這裡，清楚的看到事情事不明確的，討論起來也很抽象，就像我的人生，但是我不用因為不清楚而frickined out，我也不用每天一早起來，因為不確定今天會不會有想出"影響人生"重大觀念的發生而憂慮，我要去想的是我現在在做的事值不值得，真的是我在乎的嗎?未來無法被確定，我現在做得事會如何影響未來，L說的take baby-step讓我很有感覺，既然我無法一下就跨這麼大步，去看到未來的人生，那我先小心的走，至少我確定我在走，至少我可以去思考，我走的每一步，是不是我想走的。
2014年2月23日 星期日
在我喜歡的地方工作
我的嘴角都是藍莓，手上也是!
你看我笑得多開心!因為我被塞進好大一口的煮藍莓加冰淇淋!原先嘴巴更大，但是等像機拿出來，我已經把冰淇淋吞進去了!
在瑞典待了一個月，我已經能理解為什麼他們春天和夏天要有如此大的慶祝儀式，陽光真的是上天給的最美好的禮物，我現在看到陽光，也會毫不猶豫的往外走，享受片刻的溫暖。會享受生活也就是fika的來由了，簡單講，我覺得fika就是居家版的下午茶，而我工作的地方就是這裡學生組織(nation)的fika，我會喜歡這裡，是因為有很多食物(?)沒有啦!其實是有很多愛(這是比較噁心但直接的說法)，不論是這裡的負責人或一起來工作的人，因位都是學生，大家都像是來交朋友的，而在陰陰冷冷的天氣裡，沒有什麼比在食物充足的地方交朋友更溫暖的事了!
我來這裡工作兩次了，學會切麵包，就像在森林系林場實習，學習切木頭，鋸子要拉到底，就不會這麼吃力，也學會怎麼壓好麵包，才不會讓麵包的角角碎裂，然後兩次都作cream cheese and salmon bagel，這雖然容易胖，但真得很好吃!然後其他的學習，我想就像一般餐廳打工差不多，收盤子等。
喜歡這裡是因為人，薪水不多，但是一整天都嘻嘻哈哈的，上回認識的法國人還告訴我一家很棒的二手腳踏車店。這回認識一個可愛的日本女生，她很像我之前認識的一位學姐，還認識一位東歐人，我一直記不起來她的名子，一直問，後還很好笑的是，她其實也不知道我的名子，我和她說"丁"，她想了想，我就說叮叮噹， 馬上就"ohh, get it"，然後她和那位日本同學有時會和我開玩笑，我們做事做累了，會停下來吃東西，她們每次看到我吃東西就會說"Why you keep eating! Every time I see her, she is eating!"
我的上司也很疼我們這些寶貝，今天我做三明治時她就塞了好大一口的蘋果派給我們，然後我在煮洋蔥時她又塞了藍莓冰淇淋，(就是這張照片)，最後，我們塊打烊時，她在我的背後貼15% off，就這樣打著廣告，我也知道她再開玩笑!像片，蛋糕，還有友誼是他們給我們的最棒!
今天和客人最神奇的互動是教他們玩心臟病，他們問我知道任何中國的撲克牌遊戲嗎?我說知道，然後他開始玩一個很像心臟病的遊戲，只是他忘了詳細的規則，所以我和他說我想你說的應該是這個吧，最後他也知道台灣叫這個"heart-attack"!
一天下來，來來回回的走路，腳很痠，好像今天的力氣都用盡了，有位台灣來的同學也在fika工作，她說她想在瑞典多留一些時間，但是她得找到工作和房子，我問她要做什麼工作呢，她說餐廳的工作，但是不能在nation，因為nation的錢不夠她應付瑞典政府的要求。我去這裡工作時也會想我究竟是為了什麼去的。在台灣，家教真得很好賺，所以若和餐廳打工相比，家教的時薪真的高很多，當然你也可以說家教不單是為了錢，我也感覺過，所以相信，家教的過程會和學生很要好，那種感覺也很不錯。來這裡工作，在台灣某些人眼中會不會是"台傭"呢?不管別人怎麼想，我想的只是，一點小錢，不無小補，再說這裡的工作氣氛很愉快，You can smell love in the air!所以我會想待在這裡。
通識課(台大的)，老師問過我們，工作的意義在哪?也問過我們，如果明天你就不是學生了，你要做什麼，有位同學說去餐廳工作。其實我不了解自己，我也不知道抽離了學生身分，真的要去工作的話，我可以做什麼，像這樣在fika工作是很棒，但是我也不可能永遠都在這裡，因為我也不會永遠都有"學生證"吧!而真的在餐廳當服務生呢?我記得我做過一次，而差點沒被嚇死，那裡可不會是充滿著"愛"，客人也不會對你很有禮貌的，因為在這裡是學生，又因為帶著東方面孔，聽不懂得多問，也沒有人會不想理你。
我最近也在想，離開學校，我到底可以做什麼，如果說工作只是要混口飯吃，那還何必在乎這麼多，我現再想要的也不多，我只想簡單的生活，想去林子散步時可以去，想在宿舍發發呆時也可以發呆，什麼車子房子我也沒在想，住宿舍很好呀，車子喔，我每天上學，走路走40分鐘也可以接受阿，當然你會說人生還有其他東西是需要花錢的，不是我想得這麼簡單，我相信，但是也不知道"年輕時"的胸懷大志去哪了。
今天換下制服時，我的日本同學說越來越胖了，要去運動，我說我的腳好痠，在摸摸自己的手，這幾天都自己煮，終於不再吃白飯配肉鬆，手也越來越粗糙，我和她開玩笑地說"Not a princise at home anymore."
2014年2月19日 星期三
早起這回事
Foggy, foggy, another foggy day...
That was a typical day in Sweden for the past two weeks. I had a stuffy-nose, a headache, and a sore throat. But don't worry, I am much better now. I took a lot of rest and drank a lot of boiled-lime water, like my roomate told me "you better take care of yourself."
今天一早，眼睛感覺到陽光的強度，穿過玻璃，進入我的房間。"好亮阿!"原來這是許久不見的太陽，天氣越來越暖(是否真的是氣候變遷，還是只是個暖冬，是氣候的正常變動，這我就不知道了)，今天還出了太陽，而這真的給所有人力量，連我都覺得感冒好多了。甚至去上課時，隔壁的德國同學還和我說"今天大家嘴型都是V字型，都是太陽的緣故"，但當然，太陽在室內看起來會很舒服，真的穿過玻璃投射到待在暖氣房的我們，也會覺得超受用，但外面還是很冷的，大衣不可隨便脫。
早起的陽光，我卻沒辦法出去和他玩玩，因為課內閱讀還沒讀完，所以我只好在室內感受陽光的刺眼，一邊看小豬排放的甲烷如何被換算成二氧化碳，又如何造成炭交易，閱讀本身不痛苦(雖然閱讀內容讓人覺得這些條約和會議有很多進步空間)，但是不能去外面走走很惋惜，心裡早期待那蓄勢待發的春天，即使今天只是個幻象。
所以囉，我希望有很多不會用到"太陽"地事可以在"太陽不在"的時候做完，比如說看書，煮飯，永遠都有太多事情想在陽光下做。只是這樣似乎也不太可能，我還是蠻喜歡睡覺的，冬天的被窩很難離開，確立一個時間一定要起床吧，不要用電腦東看看西看看太久，這應該就會有比較多時間，可以去走走，不論是住家附近的步道還是城裡的街道，即使只是待在窗前看太陽如何升起，那顏色很美，也值得。先訂6:30起床好了，看一個禮拜效果如何!然後電腦嘛，這比較難，有時發現有趣的事就會一直看下去，不然一天用電腦亂晃的時間不要超過一小時好了。
雖然說這樣定下刻板的時間看起來很呆版，但是有一些比較確定的事，才能讓我有更多事情是可以隨意做的，來到瑞典的三個禮拜，我有時會想該如何讓在這裡的每一天都值得被珍惜，被回憶，後來想想，能讓時間被珍惜，就是知道它有一定的限度，然後不論當下在做什麼事就全神貫注，吃飯就吃飯，睡覺就睡覺，至少有唯一值得高興(但同時卻也讓人不安)的事是現在沒有什麼明確想要做得事存在，這意味我有多事情要去探索。看到這裡有同學來交換順道旅行，卻也看到有同學來交換因為自己國家上的課不喜歡，學費很貴，因此來這裡修超多課，我兩種都不是，我既沒有特別想去哪，也沒有特別因為森林想修什麼課(前提是我選的課還是和森林相關，我的意思是我沒有因為森林系而修超多這方面的課，那位同學修了學分規定的兩倍)，當初說交換是要脫離舒適圈，這是一個概念，但內容是要我自己去磨刻，自己去上色的。
所以想要早起，想要每天的開始都能像大地一樣有活力，而今天的晨光，恰巧更加強我的意念。
That was a typical day in Sweden for the past two weeks. I had a stuffy-nose, a headache, and a sore throat. But don't worry, I am much better now. I took a lot of rest and drank a lot of boiled-lime water, like my roomate told me "you better take care of yourself."
今天一早，眼睛感覺到陽光的強度，穿過玻璃，進入我的房間。"好亮阿!"原來這是許久不見的太陽，天氣越來越暖(是否真的是氣候變遷，還是只是個暖冬，是氣候的正常變動，這我就不知道了)，今天還出了太陽，而這真的給所有人力量，連我都覺得感冒好多了。甚至去上課時，隔壁的德國同學還和我說"今天大家嘴型都是V字型，都是太陽的緣故"，但當然，太陽在室內看起來會很舒服，真的穿過玻璃投射到待在暖氣房的我們，也會覺得超受用，但外面還是很冷的，大衣不可隨便脫。
早起的陽光，我卻沒辦法出去和他玩玩，因為課內閱讀還沒讀完，所以我只好在室內感受陽光的刺眼，一邊看小豬排放的甲烷如何被換算成二氧化碳，又如何造成炭交易，閱讀本身不痛苦(雖然閱讀內容讓人覺得這些條約和會議有很多進步空間)，但是不能去外面走走很惋惜，心裡早期待那蓄勢待發的春天，即使今天只是個幻象。
所以囉，我希望有很多不會用到"太陽"地事可以在"太陽不在"的時候做完，比如說看書，煮飯，永遠都有太多事情想在陽光下做。只是這樣似乎也不太可能，我還是蠻喜歡睡覺的，冬天的被窩很難離開，確立一個時間一定要起床吧，不要用電腦東看看西看看太久，這應該就會有比較多時間，可以去走走，不論是住家附近的步道還是城裡的街道，即使只是待在窗前看太陽如何升起，那顏色很美，也值得。先訂6:30起床好了，看一個禮拜效果如何!然後電腦嘛，這比較難，有時發現有趣的事就會一直看下去，不然一天用電腦亂晃的時間不要超過一小時好了。
雖然說這樣定下刻板的時間看起來很呆版，但是有一些比較確定的事，才能讓我有更多事情是可以隨意做的，來到瑞典的三個禮拜，我有時會想該如何讓在這裡的每一天都值得被珍惜，被回憶，後來想想，能讓時間被珍惜，就是知道它有一定的限度，然後不論當下在做什麼事就全神貫注，吃飯就吃飯，睡覺就睡覺，至少有唯一值得高興(但同時卻也讓人不安)的事是現在沒有什麼明確想要做得事存在，這意味我有多事情要去探索。看到這裡有同學來交換順道旅行，卻也看到有同學來交換因為自己國家上的課不喜歡，學費很貴，因此來這裡修超多課，我兩種都不是，我既沒有特別想去哪，也沒有特別因為森林想修什麼課(前提是我選的課還是和森林相關，我的意思是我沒有因為森林系而修超多這方面的課，那位同學修了學分規定的兩倍)，當初說交換是要脫離舒適圈，這是一個概念，但內容是要我自己去磨刻，自己去上色的。
所以想要早起，想要每天的開始都能像大地一樣有活力，而今天的晨光，恰巧更加強我的意念。
今天下午討論完lab project後，太陽西落，恰巧接於道路，不過我照像技術不好，沒抓到當下的氛圍
道路的另一端，與城堡相接，我試著要避開那些號誌牌，但是畫面看起來會更不協調，只好不排除他們，
2014年2月12日 星期三
差點被罷了一道
最近在找腳踏車，網路上二手售價的價位大都是在七八百，上回去看的竟然還是一千二，但是我不想在腳踏車上花這麼多錢，昨天在網路上看到的有六百，我馬上就發訊息給他，問他腳踏車賣出了嗎?他說沒有，我就和他約今天下午六點在宿舍(Flogsta)
六點後我走到他的宿舍，Flogsta是一個宿舍區，所以我們是在同區但不同棟。 燈光昏暗，他出來，我們簡單自我介紹後就開始看腳踏車，我問他為什麼要賣車，他說這是他朋友留下來的，他幫忙賣，我原本想試騎，但是坐墊太高，我騎不上，於是我只能在暗暗的燈光下看著這部狀似輪胎很厲害，可以在雪地裡騎的腳踏車，我注意到坐墊有破洞，他說沒關係，裡面也沒有水流進去，我看了看，問他說價格是八百嗎(我後來才知道我記錯了)他大笑地說不是，是七百，我又問他這價格是可以討論的嗎?他說你想多少，我說五百，他又接著說六百，我說但是腳踏車沒有燈，我還要再去買燈，(在烏普薩拉騎腳踏車沒裝燈是要被罰的)，他說那頂多花你二十五塊，但我說我今天去看，那要69塊，他油條地繼續說著，我說那沒關係，我回去再考慮考慮，他說那他可能就會給其他人看，我說沒關係，你就看其他人要不要買，(既然我發現可以殺價，那我也不怕找不到便宜的腳踏車)，他於說不然五百五，幫我省700-550=一百五，他說這些錢夠你買一個燈了，我猶豫了一下，最後說好，但是因為我沒帶錢，我和他說等我去領，他說可以去阿，也可以順便把腳踏車牽回去，他說"我信任你"，(這句話最後讓我很不高興)，他教我如何用鎖，其實那就是家裡綁狗的鍊子，和一個鎖頭，但他說這種不會結凍，我也不知到真假，只覺得那樣還不錯，他試範完後就直接把鎖頭放進我口袋，因為我剛好側著深再看摸握把，其實我有點驚訝，是外國人比較open嗎?我有點"我們這麼熟嗎?"的感覺，但當下沒再細想。當他把腳尬車再牽出來時，我才突然想起，我壓過輪胎了，也看過胎痕，雖然燈光不是很好，但感覺還不錯，但我忘記問煞車了，所以，腳踏車牽在他手上，我問他，煞車好嗎?他示範了一下，我有聽到煞車的聲音，但其實我看不懂，只是他和我說很好!我也就以為沒問題，後來更可笑的事，他竟然還和我說"Because your sweet talk, I give you a specail discount."當下聽了是覺得自己還蠻迷人可愛的，(等等我想想後會更生氣)，我就牽著腳踏車，回六號宿舍。
路上，我想試騎看看，所以就憑著人行道凸出的高度想試著將腳跨上去，但是還是不成，現在走在燈光比較明亮的地方了，我發現腳踏板是損毀的，有些沮喪，想說等等可不可以再去殺價，我又隨手試試煞車，結果我覺得前煞怪怪的，再試一次，果然怪怪，我想這下可好了，去修腳踏車一定又要再花錢。這時我看到對面走過來一個男生，我想請他幫我試
我:"Sorry, Do you have time?"
他愣一下，看看我，表達出"你想做什麼?"
我趕緊著解釋"I mean couples of minutes. I just bought a bike from my friend. But because the chair is too high, I can not really try it, and I think there is something wrong with the front brake. Can you help me try it?"
他明白後就騎上去了，他先說什麼foot brake is ok，其實我不太懂，好像是說你如果要停下來，腳往後踩，讓齒輪往後轉，也可以讓腳踏車停下來。
接下來他試了前後煞車，他說前煞有問題，"果然"我心想，但他說後煞沒問題，但重要的是後煞，接下來他問我要不要試變速器，我其實不怎麼在乎這個，因為我根本不會用，但和他說好，於時他說"I need more space."然後他將腳踏車轉彎，騎到比較長的路，(本來我們幾乎撞到七號宿舍的門了)，我小跑步跟上去，他在前方停下後，
和我說"Do you know how to use the gear?"
"I don't know."
"Ask the person selling you, because I didn't know how this works in this bike."
我心裡好感謝他，要不是他幫我，我可能真的會以為自己想太多，腳踏車沒問題。
所以我後來沒去領錢，我回宿舍後傳fb告訴他，我們等一下見，我沒說我不買了，然後我就把較踏車停回原位，在門口等他，但是他沒出現。我於是走了，帶著腳他車的鎖的鑰匙，回到宿舍後才發現他回我訊息了，問我在哪，我說我現再再從六號宿舍走到你的宿舍，沿路上我都在想要怎麼和他說我不買了: 因為你的腳踏車有很多問題，我不能接受。有些時候我腦袋裡想得很簡單的事實，卻不敢開口說。
到他宿舍前，我依稀看到他在大門內，我進去了，他說天氣很冷，他沒帶外套，不想出去，然後他兩手插在胸前。我有點抱歉的開始和他說腳踏車的問題，前煞不太好，他說那只要15塊就可以修，但是我覺得你做生意都不講誠實原則了，我現在怎麼可能還會相信你?我說還有其他問題，反正我不買了，你可以給其他人看，沒關係，他說"I will. I will."然後我又覺得好像都是我的錯，剛剛說要買，現在又不要，所以我又拼命"Sorry, sorry"
這樣來回走來走去，又是晚上，又要爬回六樓(我住五樓，但是第一層樓不算，所以其實是六層樓)，出們又要穿外套，回來發送訊息其實都只進去房間用一下電腦，有點累。然後晚餐還沒煮，只好乖乖去煮個青菜湯和燙個義大利麵。
等我煮好，拿回房間，仔細看剛剛沒有認真看的fb訊息，突然發現有一個訊息是我不認識的人傳給我的，他開頭是"哥兒們，那老外的腳踏車別買..."我原先看到是簡體字，又是不認識的人，本來想將他刪除的，但是看到"腳踏車"，就把他點開來看，傳訊息給我的人說，那腳踏車是他賣給那個老外的，價錢是430，他說這老外就靠這樣轉賣賺錢，天哪，我實在是太吃驚了，我剛剛差點就被騙了，中了他的算盤，厡來他是一個不誠實的人，原來他那些噁心的話和笑臉都是花招，我還在想我是哪裡和你說什麼可愛的話，我全身也都因為冬天穿一堆衣服，包得像粽子的，哪會可愛，這人真是無聊!
我想起來，兩位老師都和我說過，不要太容易去相信別人，要去分辨誰是好人，誰是壞人，也許我待在學校裡安全的環境裡太久，久到失去了戒心，總是很容易相信人，這回差點被騙。我應該要有能力去判斷腳踏車的價格，這是那位稱呼我"哥兒們"的兄弟說的，也是昨天上課時，Bason說，你在台灣有腳踏車，那你應該知到腳踏車的價值如何衡量，但難過的是，我的腳踏車都是家裡牽出來的，而家裡牽出來的東西是不太容易知道要花多少錢才買的道的。
六點後我走到他的宿舍，Flogsta是一個宿舍區，所以我們是在同區但不同棟。 燈光昏暗，他出來，我們簡單自我介紹後就開始看腳踏車，我問他為什麼要賣車，他說這是他朋友留下來的，他幫忙賣，我原本想試騎，但是坐墊太高，我騎不上，於是我只能在暗暗的燈光下看著這部狀似輪胎很厲害，可以在雪地裡騎的腳踏車，我注意到坐墊有破洞，他說沒關係，裡面也沒有水流進去，我看了看，問他說價格是八百嗎(我後來才知道我記錯了)他大笑地說不是，是七百，我又問他這價格是可以討論的嗎?他說你想多少，我說五百，他又接著說六百，我說但是腳踏車沒有燈，我還要再去買燈，(在烏普薩拉騎腳踏車沒裝燈是要被罰的)，他說那頂多花你二十五塊，但我說我今天去看，那要69塊，他油條地繼續說著，我說那沒關係，我回去再考慮考慮，他說那他可能就會給其他人看，我說沒關係，你就看其他人要不要買，(既然我發現可以殺價，那我也不怕找不到便宜的腳踏車)，他於說不然五百五，幫我省700-550=一百五，他說這些錢夠你買一個燈了，我猶豫了一下，最後說好，但是因為我沒帶錢，我和他說等我去領，他說可以去阿，也可以順便把腳踏車牽回去，他說"我信任你"，(這句話最後讓我很不高興)，他教我如何用鎖，其實那就是家裡綁狗的鍊子，和一個鎖頭，但他說這種不會結凍，我也不知到真假，只覺得那樣還不錯，他試範完後就直接把鎖頭放進我口袋，因為我剛好側著深再看摸握把，其實我有點驚訝，是外國人比較open嗎?我有點"我們這麼熟嗎?"的感覺，但當下沒再細想。當他把腳尬車再牽出來時，我才突然想起，我壓過輪胎了，也看過胎痕，雖然燈光不是很好，但感覺還不錯，但我忘記問煞車了，所以，腳踏車牽在他手上，我問他，煞車好嗎?他示範了一下，我有聽到煞車的聲音，但其實我看不懂，只是他和我說很好!我也就以為沒問題，後來更可笑的事，他竟然還和我說"Because your sweet talk, I give you a specail discount."當下聽了是覺得自己還蠻迷人可愛的，(等等我想想後會更生氣)，我就牽著腳踏車，回六號宿舍。
路上，我想試騎看看，所以就憑著人行道凸出的高度想試著將腳跨上去，但是還是不成，現在走在燈光比較明亮的地方了，我發現腳踏板是損毀的，有些沮喪，想說等等可不可以再去殺價，我又隨手試試煞車，結果我覺得前煞怪怪的，再試一次，果然怪怪，我想這下可好了，去修腳踏車一定又要再花錢。這時我看到對面走過來一個男生，我想請他幫我試
我:"Sorry, Do you have time?"
他愣一下，看看我，表達出"你想做什麼?"
我趕緊著解釋"I mean couples of minutes. I just bought a bike from my friend. But because the chair is too high, I can not really try it, and I think there is something wrong with the front brake. Can you help me try it?"
他明白後就騎上去了，他先說什麼foot brake is ok，其實我不太懂，好像是說你如果要停下來，腳往後踩，讓齒輪往後轉，也可以讓腳踏車停下來。
接下來他試了前後煞車，他說前煞有問題，"果然"我心想，但他說後煞沒問題，但重要的是後煞，接下來他問我要不要試變速器，我其實不怎麼在乎這個，因為我根本不會用，但和他說好，於時他說"I need more space."然後他將腳踏車轉彎，騎到比較長的路，(本來我們幾乎撞到七號宿舍的門了)，我小跑步跟上去，他在前方停下後，
和我說"Do you know how to use the gear?"
"I don't know."
"Ask the person selling you, because I didn't know how this works in this bike."
我心裡好感謝他，要不是他幫我，我可能真的會以為自己想太多，腳踏車沒問題。
所以我後來沒去領錢，我回宿舍後傳fb告訴他，我們等一下見，我沒說我不買了，然後我就把較踏車停回原位，在門口等他，但是他沒出現。我於是走了，帶著腳他車的鎖的鑰匙，回到宿舍後才發現他回我訊息了，問我在哪，我說我現再再從六號宿舍走到你的宿舍，沿路上我都在想要怎麼和他說我不買了: 因為你的腳踏車有很多問題，我不能接受。有些時候我腦袋裡想得很簡單的事實，卻不敢開口說。
到他宿舍前，我依稀看到他在大門內，我進去了，他說天氣很冷，他沒帶外套，不想出去，然後他兩手插在胸前。我有點抱歉的開始和他說腳踏車的問題，前煞不太好，他說那只要15塊就可以修，但是我覺得你做生意都不講誠實原則了，我現在怎麼可能還會相信你?我說還有其他問題，反正我不買了，你可以給其他人看，沒關係，他說"I will. I will."然後我又覺得好像都是我的錯，剛剛說要買，現在又不要，所以我又拼命"Sorry, sorry"
這樣來回走來走去，又是晚上，又要爬回六樓(我住五樓，但是第一層樓不算，所以其實是六層樓)，出們又要穿外套，回來發送訊息其實都只進去房間用一下電腦，有點累。然後晚餐還沒煮，只好乖乖去煮個青菜湯和燙個義大利麵。
等我煮好，拿回房間，仔細看剛剛沒有認真看的fb訊息，突然發現有一個訊息是我不認識的人傳給我的，他開頭是"哥兒們，那老外的腳踏車別買..."我原先看到是簡體字，又是不認識的人，本來想將他刪除的，但是看到"腳踏車"，就把他點開來看，傳訊息給我的人說，那腳踏車是他賣給那個老外的，價錢是430，他說這老外就靠這樣轉賣賺錢，天哪，我實在是太吃驚了，我剛剛差點就被騙了，中了他的算盤，厡來他是一個不誠實的人，原來他那些噁心的話和笑臉都是花招，我還在想我是哪裡和你說什麼可愛的話，我全身也都因為冬天穿一堆衣服，包得像粽子的，哪會可愛，這人真是無聊!
我想起來，兩位老師都和我說過，不要太容易去相信別人，要去分辨誰是好人，誰是壞人，也許我待在學校裡安全的環境裡太久，久到失去了戒心，總是很容易相信人，這回差點被騙。我應該要有能力去判斷腳踏車的價格，這是那位稱呼我"哥兒們"的兄弟說的，也是昨天上課時，Bason說，你在台灣有腳踏車，那你應該知到腳踏車的價值如何衡量，但難過的是，我的腳踏車都是家裡牽出來的，而家裡牽出來的東西是不太容易知道要花多少錢才買的道的。
日記一則
今天晚上很開心，因為和Cassie笑著走回宿舍，阿，好久沒有笑這麼久。其實我們聊得也沒什麼，不過是食物，語言和腳踏車，一樣是40分鐘的路，但是就是很開心，後來回到宿舍，我想在台灣最常和誰會這樣呢?結果我想到庭予，和她在一起，也常笑得很開心，早說如果我是男生我就娶她了!哈!
出國會遇到各式各樣的人，有人說瑞典人害羞，個性比較悶騷，也許大部分的人真地是這樣，比如說我的室友，但是不是全部的人都在這個邏輯下，比如說台灣人大部分都是熱情的，但也不是所有人都這樣，道理一樣，有可能是真的會有所謂的文化影響，但像我的室友，雖然大部分的人，如果我不和他們在打完招呼後繼續說話，通常接下來的會是一陣沉默，所以我通常會想辦法繼續說話，但也有室友是很好的，一樣都是瑞典人，當然不會給你法國人的熱情(或地中海熱情)，但像Ceccia，會主動關心你，問你找到腳踏車了嗎?有時候我在廚房看她和她朋友做菜，我就會順便學一下，她也會告訴你，還會告訴我這種材料比較貴，你可以用什麼取代。然後發現她的吃法很簡單，基本上就是煮馬鈴薯，加熱牛奶或是烤魚，頂多偶爾炒大鍋肉(但在媽媽眼中，那應該只會是把食物用熟)，配上鳳梨，然後作成墨西哥捲，吃東西不複雜。
但有些外國人，你會感覺到她不想理你(?亦或是我太像小孩，所以不想和我說話)，但身邊中大部分的人，都是願意和我說話的，偶爾還會想辦法幫我找話說，實在很好，我有時在想為什麼都是不同文化的人，有些人會尊重你的文化，有些人卻排斥接受她?(就好比名子，我喜歡被叫中文名，即使你發音不正確，但我知道那是我，而英文名，對我來說比較像是一個代號，或許是中文名用太久了?所以特別有感情?有些外國人願意去記你的中文名，然後這樣叫你，但有些人會毫不猶豫地說我叫你Rebecca)這可能還是小事，我想我能遇到那些願意聽我說我的文化和尊重我想法的人，他們必定也有某些文化上的衝擊，不論是好事壞，有些人因為家庭本身就會接帶亞洲人，會教他們說英文或什麼之類的，所以遇到像我這樣什麼的不懂的人，他們會很熱心的幫你，像Cassie(今天和我走回來時，她竟然和我說"Would you like to walk with me, would you"，本來是因為我覺得讓她這樣一直陪我走路很不好意思，想說她可以騎車，結果她更好心的反過來問我)，而有些人可能是因為之前自己的想法被其他國家的人排斥，或著是曾經在其他國家居住過，有過類似的感受，所以當看到有人處在類似的情境時會幫你。這情況比較常出現在北美的人，至於瑞典人，我現在的感覺是，(基本上是來自我BUDDY)，她會帶我坐公車，找到正確的站名下車，但是其他以外的事情她就會給明確的指示，告訴你那是你該面對和處理的，比如說我們到租屋公司，到車站買票，她就會在旁邊等我處理完，她不會靠近來看可不可以，或許是有那種我也把你當大人看的味道吧!我總覺得我常常想的事比較成熟，但是實際做出來的會比較幼稚，是不是因為過去的環境太舒適，所以我發現我可以把責任都先裝作沒看到?到這裡，會有一種比較強烈的想法: 來自家庭和學校的保護太多了，這些保護好不好呢?現在的感覺是不好的，越早抽離出這種保護，才會比較成熟，成熟雖然聽起來老套，但卻是重要的，不論是什麼年紀。當然，成熟的同時，也不是世故，心中的天光雲影總還是會在，也可以在。
最近上課比較好了，我可以聽得懂老師在說什麼了，當然還是要很專心，聽英文真的超容易出神的，但遇到講話很快，以英文為母語的人，她們說地笑話我就不太懂了，今天Cassie說我的英文是不錯，比她的法語好，她是聽不出哪裡來的人，但是我還是有口音，我想雖然英文不能真地說的像加拿大人或美國人，但是就整體來說，她們不會聽得很吃力就好，這我雖然不滿意，但是可以接受，現在最希望的是單字量吧!
在念氣候變遷的文章時，因為很像森林系的林政學，好多單字看不懂，而且有些其實是學過的，只是換個位置就串不起來了，但我想把這次的報告做好，只能說多讀一些書囉!
話說回來，瑞典有瑞典的文化，有些事情在我身上自然也消除不掉，但是能消除掉的卻很多，這好像是一種轉型和融合，但為了符合某一種集體性的概念而去改變，卻是我不願意的，"我就是我，想起來她(不說她是誰)告訴過我這句話，是說在這裡，我有更多機會去選擇，我要的我。
出國會遇到各式各樣的人，有人說瑞典人害羞，個性比較悶騷，也許大部分的人真地是這樣，比如說我的室友，但是不是全部的人都在這個邏輯下，比如說台灣人大部分都是熱情的，但也不是所有人都這樣，道理一樣，有可能是真的會有所謂的文化影響，但像我的室友，雖然大部分的人，如果我不和他們在打完招呼後繼續說話，通常接下來的會是一陣沉默，所以我通常會想辦法繼續說話，但也有室友是很好的，一樣都是瑞典人，當然不會給你法國人的熱情(或地中海熱情)，但像Ceccia，會主動關心你，問你找到腳踏車了嗎?有時候我在廚房看她和她朋友做菜，我就會順便學一下，她也會告訴你，還會告訴我這種材料比較貴，你可以用什麼取代。然後發現她的吃法很簡單，基本上就是煮馬鈴薯，加熱牛奶或是烤魚，頂多偶爾炒大鍋肉(但在媽媽眼中，那應該只會是把食物用熟)，配上鳳梨，然後作成墨西哥捲，吃東西不複雜。
但有些外國人，你會感覺到她不想理你(?亦或是我太像小孩，所以不想和我說話)，但身邊中大部分的人，都是願意和我說話的，偶爾還會想辦法幫我找話說，實在很好，我有時在想為什麼都是不同文化的人，有些人會尊重你的文化，有些人卻排斥接受她?(就好比名子，我喜歡被叫中文名，即使你發音不正確，但我知道那是我，而英文名，對我來說比較像是一個代號，或許是中文名用太久了?所以特別有感情?有些外國人願意去記你的中文名，然後這樣叫你，但有些人會毫不猶豫地說我叫你Rebecca)這可能還是小事，我想我能遇到那些願意聽我說我的文化和尊重我想法的人，他們必定也有某些文化上的衝擊，不論是好事壞，有些人因為家庭本身就會接帶亞洲人，會教他們說英文或什麼之類的，所以遇到像我這樣什麼的不懂的人，他們會很熱心的幫你，像Cassie(今天和我走回來時，她竟然和我說"Would you like to walk with me, would you"，本來是因為我覺得讓她這樣一直陪我走路很不好意思，想說她可以騎車，結果她更好心的反過來問我)，而有些人可能是因為之前自己的想法被其他國家的人排斥，或著是曾經在其他國家居住過，有過類似的感受，所以當看到有人處在類似的情境時會幫你。這情況比較常出現在北美的人，至於瑞典人，我現在的感覺是，(基本上是來自我BUDDY)，她會帶我坐公車，找到正確的站名下車，但是其他以外的事情她就會給明確的指示，告訴你那是你該面對和處理的，比如說我們到租屋公司，到車站買票，她就會在旁邊等我處理完，她不會靠近來看可不可以，或許是有那種我也把你當大人看的味道吧!我總覺得我常常想的事比較成熟，但是實際做出來的會比較幼稚，是不是因為過去的環境太舒適，所以我發現我可以把責任都先裝作沒看到?到這裡，會有一種比較強烈的想法: 來自家庭和學校的保護太多了，這些保護好不好呢?現在的感覺是不好的，越早抽離出這種保護，才會比較成熟，成熟雖然聽起來老套，但卻是重要的，不論是什麼年紀。當然，成熟的同時，也不是世故，心中的天光雲影總還是會在，也可以在。
最近上課比較好了，我可以聽得懂老師在說什麼了，當然還是要很專心，聽英文真的超容易出神的，但遇到講話很快，以英文為母語的人，她們說地笑話我就不太懂了，今天Cassie說我的英文是不錯，比她的法語好，她是聽不出哪裡來的人，但是我還是有口音，我想雖然英文不能真地說的像加拿大人或美國人，但是就整體來說，她們不會聽得很吃力就好，這我雖然不滿意，但是可以接受，現在最希望的是單字量吧!
在念氣候變遷的文章時，因為很像森林系的林政學，好多單字看不懂，而且有些其實是學過的，只是換個位置就串不起來了，但我想把這次的報告做好，只能說多讀一些書囉!
話說回來，瑞典有瑞典的文化，有些事情在我身上自然也消除不掉，但是能消除掉的卻很多，這好像是一種轉型和融合，但為了符合某一種集體性的概念而去改變，卻是我不願意的，"我就是我，想起來她(不說她是誰)告訴過我這句話，是說在這裡，我有更多機會去選擇，我要的我。
2014年2月7日 星期五
童心不減
今天回家的路上，想到我說今天要做雪人的，溫度3度，有點水，瑞典朋友說是適合做雪人的，所以雖然還是下著雨，"縱使天晴無雨處，入雲深處易沾衣"不就是這樣嗎?那就先別理了。
我堆的雪人還很小，原本在地上堆，但是旁邊的一張板凳，竟然讓我有想將它們都移到板凳上的念頭，所以我就捏了兩個中的，五個小的，排排站!
捏著捏著，我想到小時候讀"賣斗笠喔!，賣斗笠喔!"的故事，我不記得書名了，但是應該是在日本的某一個地方，有一對貧窮的老夫婦，年快到了，卻沒有什麼東西好過年。所已他們就做了很多斗笠，想拿去賣，但是事與願違，老公公的斗笠生意不好，在他回家的路上，他看到路旁有一列的地藏王菩薩，他幫他們拍去了頭頂上的雪，帶上斗笠，然後每個地藏王菩薩前方都有它搓的雪團，當作是供品吧!最後一個地藏王菩薩是帶老公公的頭巾，因為斗笠不夠了。到了晚上，老公公和老婆婆都睡了，地藏王菩薩們就唱著歌，來到老公公家門前，敲敲門，等老公公和老婆婆出來開門時，他們只看到遠方地藏王菩薩們離去的身影和滿地的食物，故事應該就是這樣吧!雖然好像還有壞人，什麼貪心的鄰居也來模仿之類的，結果收到什麼我就忘了?好像是石頭。
有沒有很像東方世界的聖誕老公公，突然有這種感覺:)
不知道我今夜會不會也有雪人來敲門:)
assignment 1
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| Geocentrum |
我現在能看懂的有下面這些概念，(屬於情緒上的智慧):
自我意識，要能知道自己的脾氣。
自我控制，就是媽媽小時後常和我說的，生氣前先從1數到100，在生氣過程中說的每一句話請都先想一想，這個我最近到比較少用了，大概是也很少回家，就算回家也會覺得說話的時間都不夠了，哪還有空吵架?
動機，對一件事要有很大的動機，我想這簡單來說就是熱情吧，熱情會讓人不論遇到什麼困難都還能很樂觀，有的時候別人會說我很樂觀，後來我想想，覺得好像是因為我有很多機會叫自己樂觀些，所以要給人家樂觀的感覺自然就容易許多了。
同理心，要會察言觀色，我有時後做得不是很好，不是後知後覺就根本是不知不覺，(雖然說原文是empathy，但是最後的指標比較像是察言觀色的能力，當然，如果連察言觀色都不能，也不會有什麼同理心了。)
最後是社交技巧，這個阿，我超需要練習，很多時候我總覺得和一個人對不對盤，不用說太多話就知道，然後我就會想，既然知道，那為什麼還要花時間和不對盤的人繼續說下去?但是好像今天的社會裡，和周圍的人建立好的關係很重要，比如說我現在在國外，就算沒有和周圍的人對盤，但只要有相同的語言，一下子距離會近很多，也因為這樣彼此都會互相幫忙，一出了門，區分彼此的界現會越來越少，好像是因為在台灣有太多選擇，所以就更刁鑽和挑剔了。
還有各式各樣的領導學領論，我原先還不想買這本書的，但是我發現我很需要把單字和重點畫下來，而且這本書不是只有這部分會用到，往後還會用到，我趁明天沒事，去二手書店找找好了!
於是報告就從11點一直做到下午4點，原本還想說昨天已經寫了一大部分的報告，我應該可以在下午兩點前結束這份作業，然後衝去economy吃免費的fika，但是當我看到都到了下午兩點，我書都還沒看完，就想說算了，下次再吃，現在在瑞典，非常遵守那位波蘭朋友的忠告，有免費的食物都要注意，在這裡吃東西實在太貴了，哈，雖然是這樣說，但在台大的那些日子，我也習慣吃的普通，所以對一開始自己的菜單也沒有特別不習慣，我反倒發現，我其實沒有很喜歡料理食物，基本上我就是越簡單越好，這是不是太偷懶了?我還是學學幾道基本的菜好了!
後來我把報告寄給M，她會幫我潤飾，就是改修辭和邏輯，我超感謝她的，她除了說很好(這就是不斷在鼓勵人的狀態)，也說我最後一段有些令人困惑，因為我講到適應性領導(adaptive leadership)，但是我讀完後，唯一有感覺的卻是林政學裡，鄭公說的"摸石子過河"的概念，反正就是因為一切都是不可以預測的，你只好選擇且戰且走，但在這樣的情況下，焦點若不明確，到時就會一團糟，所以要先確定，每一個行動和決策，都應該要朝永續發展前進。我沒有把這概念表達好，所以M不太懂我在說什麼。
今天是我在瑞典完成的第1個assignment，同時也是我在瑞典第一天可以想做自己想做的事的一天，原本想要寫完作業，去完fika，就要去堆雪人，去林子走，但是後來寫完作業走出系館就發現不但天黑了，竟然還下雨了，我是一個天黑就會想趕快回家的人，又下雨，我就搭公車走了(但我回到住的地方後還是忍不住堆起雪人了，這次做的是小的，下回天氣好，我要來滾雪球)。
不知道人生還有多少個這種"作業"可以做，多少assignments需要完成，但我現在在選擇任何事時，總還是會把報告，作業，上課排第一，或許就像CO說的，有時候是因為不知道其他事做了會比較有意義嗎?我也不知道，從小也都一直被這樣教，功課要先寫完，心理才不會過意不去，最近聽了其他同學的課表，還聽到有人一個月都沒有課的，或許是她很會排課表，才有這樣的結果，但我後來也發現，我是春天到了後，課會結束一門，然後剛開學時假日要上的課，也會在冬天快結束時跟著結束，這樣也好，冬天不適合出門，待在室內看書寫報告!
最上面的照片是我在地質系照的，反正Uppsala沒有森林系，我就選和森林有關的課就好，結果我有兩門課就是在這個系，我很喜歡這個系館，一進去就有一隻恐龍掛在上面，話說我選恐龍這堂課很多人都會問我，"你確定?"，而且我發現和我修同一堂課的同學也都會被問這個問題，哈哈。
進去一點，左手邊有一架鋼琴，我好期待有一天聽到人彈，我自己沒有那個勇氣，然後還有一間小餐廳，和一間圖書館，圖書館很特別，還在裝潢，而且裡面可以講話，我昨天在找書時，竟然還發現一件有趣的事，這裡有"台灣地質xxx"的繁體中文書!竟然，世界真小!今天在布告欄上東張西望時，也發現有中研院有給他們的暑假課程，好像還會上到生物多樣性之類地，總之在這裡看到來自台灣的東西果然倍感親切!
喔，最後，這裡的每一個展示櫃都會有美美的燈光照著，然後每隔一個星期會有永續發展系列課程的party，現場還會有人拉弦樂，我就是在這裡認識我的波蘭朋友的，是個溫暖的地方!(除了那家餐廳)
2014年2月5日 星期三
No problem!
第一天上這堂課，挫折感真得很大，因為好多東西聽不懂，什麼metatarsal, 又什麼snout，很多就算說中文我也會喔一下的名詞，然後那堂課我就得不斷打起精神，聽不懂只好繼續聽，邊作筆記邊寫哪裡聽不懂"交配時會怎樣?" "眼睛和耳多有什麼關係?"..但是老天爺總是很照顧我，Cassie把筆記借給我><簡直就像遇到救星，我都抄完了，於是有點概念，到底有幾隻青蛙，幾隻蟾蜍，和幾條蛇出現，那些聽不懂的名詞是什麼，雖然說我還沒有把叫聲和樣子對起來，但至少知道有哪幾種要認了。
今天又教了40種魚，老師上完課後，就半邪惡的對我們說，你們看，你們在兩小時內認了四十種魚，我心裡想的可完全不是這麼一回事，但高興的是，我今天聽不懂的減少了，可能和老師一開始有大概介紹認魚的方法，魚的部位名稱圖和說話清晰程度有關吧!(還是我聽力便好，我也不知道)剰下的功課就是我自己的，不斷的看呀!我在想我帶的圖畫紙乾脆就來畫這些東西好了。下星期有機會進實驗室觀察，不知道我可不可以在下星期前做好這些事。
認種的過程對我來說總是困難的，但是認識了好朋友後就沒有這麼害怕了，我今天拉著Cassie說，我要跟你去看鳥，她連走路回宿舍都肯陪我了，那將近是有四十分鐘的路呀!
我現在對UBC的印象非常好，還在想張老師說的事呢，有的時候開心可能不是因為在這堂課認識什麼?而是開心在認識一個好朋友，我上課不懂的英文字，在不干擾的情況下都可以問她，生活上也是，我現在終於知道怎麼從上課的地方走回宿舍，以前都是搭公車，暗黑黑，公車怎麼繞我也不知道，今天和她一起走，好開心，一點都不冷(不過最近也變暖了到是真的)也發現原來宿舍的洗衣機可以有英文版，還有買教科書的網站，還有還有，她喜歡亞洲，所以當她看到我寫中文時會說好可愛，我說謝謝，她都說NO PROBLEM!
今天又教了40種魚，老師上完課後，就半邪惡的對我們說，你們看，你們在兩小時內認了四十種魚，我心裡想的可完全不是這麼一回事，但高興的是，我今天聽不懂的減少了，可能和老師一開始有大概介紹認魚的方法，魚的部位名稱圖和說話清晰程度有關吧!(還是我聽力便好，我也不知道)剰下的功課就是我自己的，不斷的看呀!我在想我帶的圖畫紙乾脆就來畫這些東西好了。下星期有機會進實驗室觀察，不知道我可不可以在下星期前做好這些事。
認種的過程對我來說總是困難的，但是認識了好朋友後就沒有這麼害怕了，我今天拉著Cassie說，我要跟你去看鳥，她連走路回宿舍都肯陪我了，那將近是有四十分鐘的路呀!
我現在對UBC的印象非常好，還在想張老師說的事呢，有的時候開心可能不是因為在這堂課認識什麼?而是開心在認識一個好朋友，我上課不懂的英文字，在不干擾的情況下都可以問她，生活上也是，我現在終於知道怎麼從上課的地方走回宿舍，以前都是搭公車，暗黑黑，公車怎麼繞我也不知道，今天和她一起走，好開心，一點都不冷(不過最近也變暖了到是真的)也發現原來宿舍的洗衣機可以有英文版，還有買教科書的網站，還有還有，她喜歡亞洲，所以當她看到我寫中文時會說好可愛，我說謝謝，她都說NO PROBLEM!
2014年2月4日 星期二
學著去適應囉!
恩，說真的，用中文寫對我來說會容易而且更真實些，看不懂中文的人，我再想想辦法..
明天是氣候變遷的報告，說真的，我不知道我做的報告和老師的要求有多少是相呼應的?因為不想去買教科書，在圖書館的書又早被借走，剰下一本指定閱讀，那晚在圖書館看完一章後，就沒再讀那本書，這可以算是我的不認真吧!
但是整體來說，我可以感覺到，有些人是很認真在上這堂課的，但是有些人，像是我們這組的同學，比較像是把它當作拿學分上課，這樣子氣氛就會變得不好，至少我不喜歡。
诶，在這樣說下去，就要像是抱怨了，我也沒有很喜歡上的課程內容?我猜是因為聽不懂居多?今天在討論時我一句話都插不上，光是要明白他們再說什麼對我就有困難，今天討論的是，如何誠實的告訴大眾氣候變遷這件事，所謂的誠實，是不渲染我們所知道和推論的。我記得我們這組有說到之前"賭徒"說法的事，就是在哲學課上的，相信神還是不相信神，但是我看不到這兩者的關係在哪?不是就說，要誠實地說嗎?那為什麼又扯到這個?事情當然不會有百分之百符合，但不能因為這個關係就叫人一定要相信吧?我想我本身也不是很明白賭徒說法的這個概念，不然我不會每次聽都這麼排斥，記得那時哲學課的助教說我的理解和他所傳達的是不一樣的意思，在台灣很多事沒學好。
最讓我激動的一次就是講到氣像的那一次，哪次的ppt一出來，我馬上就想到久米老師得氣候學，完全是一模一樣的能量收支圖嘛!而且那次上課講到森林對氣候變遷的功效，老師森林的建立可以讓降水增加，保持圖壤中的水分，還提到農林並型的作業方式，基本上就是在說森林的好處，我想在我沒讀森林系以前，應該會舉雙手贊成吧!但是在森林系待了兩年，我竟然對這些說法都抱持著懷疑的心裡了，究竟是降水帶來森林的成立，還是森林真的可以讓降水機會增加?又當一個地方都長不出樹，你還要堅持在哪個地方種樹嗎?我想到C之前去非洲種樹的事，我就懷疑存活率?還有農林並型的方法，要考慮的事很多，樹木會不會遮蔽到作物需要的陽光?更甚者，上課中還有人說到，如果作物卻水，那就把土壤挖深，讓作物皆近地下水面，老師說他不確定這樣對土壤的影響會怎麼樣?我還真得很想更他說，一定不行，那完全是破壞了土壤的結構，也讓表土的養分流失，但是我還是沒有舉手說。
在這裡，大家講英文都好快，每個人又有不同的口音，有些人說英文還都含在嘴巴裡，不把字吐出來，我聽不懂的很多，反正如果不是遇到願意慢慢講話的北美同學，我幾乎都有一定的障礙，沒有人說英文像空中英語教室那樣，哀，我早該知道這些。
明天就要報告了，我今天給M，他是澳洲來的同學，看過我要說的東西了，他說很好，還說我英文也很好，怎麼只有我覺得我很不在狀況裡?而且又因為另一位同學明天不會在，我還要幫他一起報告，然後明天的報告還要錄影，我的天哪!能說什麼，就是在多多練習，然後禮拜五要交地Reflection，等這個處理完後再說!
老實說，我想了很久，要不要把這堂課退掉，去修我想要的瑞典語和其他課，但是我又忍不住想，是不是因為我遇到太多困難，所以才想退掉，而課程本身並不差?如果我都有確實讀完指定書籍和文章，我會有更多收穫，聽久了，也會習慣大家說英文的方式，既然身在這個環境，我好像只能選擇相信後者，總之，明天先準備好。
明天是氣候變遷的報告，說真的，我不知道我做的報告和老師的要求有多少是相呼應的?因為不想去買教科書，在圖書館的書又早被借走，剰下一本指定閱讀，那晚在圖書館看完一章後，就沒再讀那本書，這可以算是我的不認真吧!
但是整體來說，我可以感覺到，有些人是很認真在上這堂課的，但是有些人，像是我們這組的同學，比較像是把它當作拿學分上課，這樣子氣氛就會變得不好，至少我不喜歡。
诶，在這樣說下去，就要像是抱怨了，我也沒有很喜歡上的課程內容?我猜是因為聽不懂居多?今天在討論時我一句話都插不上，光是要明白他們再說什麼對我就有困難，今天討論的是，如何誠實的告訴大眾氣候變遷這件事，所謂的誠實，是不渲染我們所知道和推論的。我記得我們這組有說到之前"賭徒"說法的事，就是在哲學課上的，相信神還是不相信神，但是我看不到這兩者的關係在哪?不是就說，要誠實地說嗎?那為什麼又扯到這個?事情當然不會有百分之百符合，但不能因為這個關係就叫人一定要相信吧?我想我本身也不是很明白賭徒說法的這個概念，不然我不會每次聽都這麼排斥，記得那時哲學課的助教說我的理解和他所傳達的是不一樣的意思，在台灣很多事沒學好。
最讓我激動的一次就是講到氣像的那一次，哪次的ppt一出來，我馬上就想到久米老師得氣候學，完全是一模一樣的能量收支圖嘛!而且那次上課講到森林對氣候變遷的功效，老師森林的建立可以讓降水增加，保持圖壤中的水分，還提到農林並型的作業方式，基本上就是在說森林的好處，我想在我沒讀森林系以前，應該會舉雙手贊成吧!但是在森林系待了兩年，我竟然對這些說法都抱持著懷疑的心裡了，究竟是降水帶來森林的成立，還是森林真的可以讓降水機會增加?又當一個地方都長不出樹，你還要堅持在哪個地方種樹嗎?我想到C之前去非洲種樹的事，我就懷疑存活率?還有農林並型的方法，要考慮的事很多，樹木會不會遮蔽到作物需要的陽光?更甚者，上課中還有人說到，如果作物卻水，那就把土壤挖深，讓作物皆近地下水面，老師說他不確定這樣對土壤的影響會怎麼樣?我還真得很想更他說，一定不行，那完全是破壞了土壤的結構，也讓表土的養分流失，但是我還是沒有舉手說。
在這裡，大家講英文都好快，每個人又有不同的口音，有些人說英文還都含在嘴巴裡，不把字吐出來，我聽不懂的很多，反正如果不是遇到願意慢慢講話的北美同學，我幾乎都有一定的障礙，沒有人說英文像空中英語教室那樣，哀，我早該知道這些。
明天就要報告了，我今天給M，他是澳洲來的同學，看過我要說的東西了，他說很好，還說我英文也很好，怎麼只有我覺得我很不在狀況裡?而且又因為另一位同學明天不會在，我還要幫他一起報告，然後明天的報告還要錄影，我的天哪!能說什麼，就是在多多練習，然後禮拜五要交地Reflection，等這個處理完後再說!
老實說，我想了很久，要不要把這堂課退掉，去修我想要的瑞典語和其他課，但是我又忍不住想，是不是因為我遇到太多困難，所以才想退掉，而課程本身並不差?如果我都有確實讀完指定書籍和文章，我會有更多收穫，聽久了，也會習慣大家說英文的方式，既然身在這個環境，我好像只能選擇相信後者，總之，明天先準備好。
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