回到台灣了，縱使旅行的記憶盤據我腦，要回想整個在烏普薩拉待的每一章節，卻還是那麼清明。
還記得，(這是一具老套的開頭，但是就讓我這樣平鋪直敘的說這些事吧)我第一天上恐龍的課，我有好多聽不懂，因為英文，因為速度，因為環境。
第一天上瑞典的動物課，也是，毫無頭緒，老師在講青蛙的身體構造，我還不知道英文名對應地是什麼器官?
第一天上climate change leadership，我簡直連這堂課在討論什麼，我都不知道，我帶著一大串的問號離開。
但是我的適應力沒有被冰雪掩埋，在climate change leadership的課程裡，我開始發現閱讀的重要，因為這樣才能和同學討論。當老師在介紹與氣候變遷相關的會議，和組織，我也不會心裡一直冒問號。也是因為和同學有更多的討論，我開始接受不是每一個"困難"，都必須立即有一個明確的"方案"，這也改變我對自己生活的看法，重點是要不斷追尋。
是這堂課，讓我第一次感覺教育和社會如此緊密，也是這堂課，讓我可以將自己和未來的世界做連結，從課本裡的文字，到鑽進社會裡，或許整個過程就是一種活著的感覺，這些事情，氣候變遷，和你如此相關，怎麼能不在乎?不是為了什麼環保，什麼綠城市，而是為了我們。
瑞典的動物課，是一門我想起來會微笑的課。我的報告也是要重新訂正，考試也有兩部分沒有通過，需要補考。然而，讓我重新再溫習，竟更讓我明白我為什麼要修這麼課，我帶走的是什麼樣的知識和態度，擁有什麼樣的經驗。離開時，我送了老師們溪頭的青蛙明信片和台大謝師周的卡片，他們很開心，這或許也是有交換學生的好處，有很多分享。
整體來說，我覺得瑞典的課，強調學生的自發性，在乎多少，自己就會想去做多少，是"自己想"，無關乎其他。要重考，重寫報告，這不是個"難過的結果"，而是一個再做一次的機會。好像煮菜，燒焦了，沒關係，找出問題，再試一次。
在台灣對老師，總是會有禮貌，說謝謝也習以為常，但我常感覺瑞典的老師不習慣這樣，他們內心會過意不去，他們的態度比較像"我在這裡就是要幫助你學習的，這是我該做的事。"
說硬體設備，他們的教學樓，和系館，都是很舒適的，一定會有一間以上的廚房，和餐廳。有一堂課我是在一棟較新的大樓上課，裡面的投影幕還是觸控式的，但並非每一位講著都習慣那個螢幕，我想是因為那樣的概念還太新。系館都會有大走廊，和很多小教室，走廊上和小教室擺了很多小桌子，學生可以在那裡念書和討論。
或許是因為瑞典土地大，而人少，空間相對較多，才可以規劃出這麼多區域。
整個城市裡，我很喜歡cemus的圖書館，我假日都可以整天待在那，因為那裡像客廳般親切，大大的沙發，搖椅，咖啡和廚房，外面也有院子，不會讓人覺得窒息，還有，只要有學校的卡，其實可以一天24小時都待在那。圖書館可以講話，可以吃東西，有的時候更像討論室。但當然還是有一個區域是必須保持安靜的。
朋友也為我的交換生活上了豐富的顏色。第一次和同學說服貿的事情時，比我大一兩歲的德國朋友，很冷靜得和我說"政府都這樣阿"，雖然我顯得如此不成熟，他們願意帶我用他們的角度看事情，聽我的想法。
朋友也改變我對服裝的看法，"我太害羞了，這件好像不太好。"剛開始撿二手衣時還這麼對V說，後來自己反而接受度更大，而且會開始想，我想要穿出什麼樣的風格?
能和一群朋友分享彼此的生命，閱讀彼此，是我心中最感激的事， 他們教我做菜，帶我曬太陽，誘導我跟隨音樂跳舞，即使我是個大肢障，重點不是什麼樣的舞步，而是自己想跳什麼?至少在一場演唱會裡可以這樣。
我無法想像會有如此深刻活著的日子。喔，然後我也因為他們，發現擁抱的必要，我真的好喜歡，不管男生還是女生。
瑞典如同台灣，不是一個完美的國家，也許我的文字太容易將這裡形塑成烏托邦，老實說，我也帶著這樣的念頭很久。
但這確實是第一個讓我眼睛閃閃發亮這麼久的地方。
感謝幫我的家人，朋友和學校，謝謝你們，如果我忍不住對你們又親又抱，我應該只是太想念你們。
那11點多還天亮，3點多天又亮的日子，和那每晚粉紅色的天空，是否畫下來了?
那樣活著的強度是否以種在我的腦袋裡?
對我來說這是一場發現自己，打開心門的旅程。
I'm in Taiwan. Even though my travel memory filled my brain, it is clear to think back on all the chapters I had in Uppsala.
I still remember the first day I had my dinosaurs course. (This is an old-fashioned opening, but please allowed me to say in plain sentences.) I could understand almost nothing. I did try to listen. But because of speaking in English, because of the speed, and because of the environment, I really can not get anything clear.
The first day I had faunistics, vertebrates course, I also had no idea either. The teacher was introducing the organs of a frog, and I didn't know which part he exactly mentioned, corresponding to each English name.
The first time I took Climate change leadership course, I could understand nothing, not to mention what was being discussed. I left the classroom with loads of questions.
But my adaptation ability did not be frozened by the cold snow. In Ccl course, I realized the importance of reading, becauase I want to discuss with friends. When the speaker was introducing meetings, and organizations, relating to climate change, I would not have question marks kept budding out of my heart. And because of having discussions with friends, I understood not every problem or difficulty need to have a solution right away. This idea also changes my view of life. The important thing is to keep searching.
Because of this course, I first felt that education is so close to society. Also because of this course, I can make connections between myself and future. From the words in the assigned readings, to diving into the real world, the whole process gave me a feeling of being alive. Under the sky, there are so many things, which relate to you so much. Climate change. How can you don't care about it? It is not for environment, not for green cities, but for us.
Faunistics, vertebrates course in Sweden, is the one that will make me smile when I recall it. I also got assignment needed to be revised, and two parts of the exams needed to be remake. But having a review on it sort of helping me understand why I want to take this course. What kind of knowledge and attitude I learned. And what kind of experiences I had. When I left, I sent the frog post card from Sitou and the Teacher's day card in Taiwan to the teachers. They were so happy. That may be the good thing to have exchange students. We can share cool thing together.
In general, I feel it needs a lot of self discipline to take Swedish course. How much you do all depends on how much you care. It's about your will, and nothing else. To have remake exam or an assignment needed to be revised, is not a sad "result". Rather, it is more like giving you a second chance. It is like cooking. The first time, if it burns, don't worry. Find out the solution and try it again.
I used to be really polite to teachers in Taiwan. Saying thank you is common too. But I feel Swedish teachers are not used to that. They would not feel comfortable in their hearts. I think their attitude is more like "I am here to help you learn. It is the thing I should do."
Talking about their hardware, the teaching building and each department are comfortable, with at least one kitchen, one library, and one restaurant. One course of mine was in a new building. The big screen there is touchable. Even though I don't think every speaker was used to that. Maybe it is because the idea is still bit too new. There are a lot of space in the hallway and lots of small rooms, with a lot of tables and chairs being placed. Students can discuss and read books in these places.
Maybe it is because Sweden has a lot of space, and not so much people. They are able to design these areas into specific usages.
(Sweden has nearly 450 thousand square kilometer land area, with 9 million people.
Taiwan has 35 thousand square kilometer land area and with 23 million people.)
In this city, I like the library in Cemus pretty much. It is as comfortable as a living room. I can stay there the whole day on weekend. With big sofas, rocking chairs, coffee, a kitchen and yards, I never feel stifled. If you want, you can stay there for 24 hours, as long as you have a university card, which you should have no problem to have one. It is allowed to talk and to eat in the library. So it is actually more like a discussion room. But of course, there is still one area that you should be quiet.
Friends in Uppsala made my time there extremely colorful. The first time I told my German friend about the Trade Agrement in Taiwan, who was one or two years older than me, responded me in a quite calm attitude "Governments all do things like that." Even though I was quite immature, they were willing to share their views and listen to my feelings. Friends I made there also changed my taste in clothing. "I am too shy.." the first time I picked up a cloth in a swamp, I told V. But later on, I became more open. I thus started to think what kind of personality I want to convey through clothing.
I am thankful that we can share life together and read each other. They taught me how to cook, brought me out to enjoy the sun and led me to dance with music, even though I was like having legs and hip made out of steel. The point is not what steps we danced, but what movements our body want to do. At least during a concert.
I can not imagine to live a life so vivid like this. Oh, and also because of them, I found the must to have hugs. I enjoyed it, both boys and girls:)
Sweden, like Taiwan is not a perfect country. Maybe through my description, it is easy for you to make hypothesis like this. In fact, I hold this idea for quite a long time, too.
But this is the first place to keep my eyes sparkling for such a long time.
Thank you to my family, friends and the university. If I can not resist to kiss or hug you, it is just because I miss you too much..
The sky is still bright at 11pm.
The sky lights up at 3 am. And the pinkish sky every evening...
Did I paint them all?
To live with this strength,
Have I planted it inside my heart?
It is a trip to discover myself and free my soul.
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